monkeys and (p)ink

i feel loved.

2012-02-10T17:52:00.002Z

ok so 1st up... valentines flash is finished... i'll be doing all of these designs at discounted rates next week... so if u r keen, call the studio to book in...

in other news...wow, more cakes from customers.

i'm starting to wonder if they just want me to be fat.

i'd imagine not.

i'd like to think not....

from the glorious Cat, master bowler even with a stinking hangover...

from Kaye, master cleaner even with a granny being nosey over her shoulder.

totally pimped out with my heart rings... who doesn't love baked goods that come with jewellery?!

so... tattoos i suppose...

Kaye got some filler the other day that was a fun lil 1 shot...

and today Cat n Mina got "BFF" tattoos...

coz they're like...

best friends forever!

and Mina got her lil' tootsies tattooed too...

sat like a champ.

i went to go watch "clap your hands say yeah" on tuesday and was utterly blown away. so friggin tight, amazing. the singer is too adorable, and i've never been so mesmerised by someones feet before. awkwardly stunning.

here's some pics of the show...

and finally, this fly decided to settle down in a pretty silly spot...

right next to my footswitch.

silly sausage.

go bananas

2012-02-06T15:48:00.000Z

hmm, so, i am still working on the Valentines flash. hope to get them coloured in by the end of the day. i sheet down, 1 to go. we'll see.

anyways, here's a piece i did last week. Fun 1-shot on a lady who works in a pub up the road... it was her first tattoo, and she sat real well. trooper.

also met up with my good friend Lara and the phenomenal photographic wizard Al Overdrive after his shoot for Biohazard, and went to a swanky cocktail bar where i ordered a vanilla daiquiri that almost knocked my socks off... and lara chose these which were AMAZING

in other news, it's been snowing like the before model from a head and shoulders advert.

yesterday after trying to convince milo that snow is fun (he wasn't having any of it)

i baked an awesome (if i may say so myself) vegan banana cake...

twas really really tasty...

in other news, like all good things, the snow turned to shit pretty quick.

did gimme an excuse to wear my old man socks over my trousers which is never a bad thing though...

right better stop procrastinating and get back to this flash... coz lemme tell ya, it feels more like a decade...less like a flash...

chilli n chilly

2012-02-02T15:57:00.001Z

so! just found out it has snowed in the Sahara. don't believe me? google it. yup. crazy. england is pretty damn cold too. 1 degree right now in london, and i hear it could drop to minus 10. need to dig out them long johns of mine i reckon.

anyway, to fight the cold, i decided to make some chilli sauce on tuesday...

it's hot. n good.

i went to an art history talk this week about Suicide in Medieval Art, which was amazing...

here are some shoddy photos i took...

the speaker was utterly adorable.

it all reminded me of something i heard on the radio the other day about weird coincidences... which went something like this....

so a lovestuck girl killed herself over a boy who broke her heart...

the boys brother shot him, and then proceeded to shoot himself.

little did he know the shot at his brother only grazed his head, and didn't kill him.

the bullet got lodged in a tree by their house.

some 20 years later, the tree had grown to a huge beast of a tree, and the surviving brother decided to tear it down.

being lazy, he decided to blow it up with dynamite as opposed to sawing it down.

tree blew up, bullet flew out, hit him in the head and killed him.

bam.

i also found some massive gigantic weird pencils in a thrift store...

i tell ya, they made people think i was some sort of photoshop aficionado after seeing this photo on Facebook....

alas, i am a mere mortal, and an aficionado of nothing.

anyways, been working on a special set of flash for valentines week, which be very reasonably priced up. here's a snippet...

done all the lining, but still gotta colour it all (i keep trying to convince myself i don't need to colour them, but i guess i kinda do....)

anyways, eyes peeled people, and if u like what u see, book in sharpish. i think i'll be doing this offer on the friday after valentines day, as V Day falls on a tuesday which is my day off.

boom.

Brighton n Back

2012-01-30T14:40:00.002Z

So, back from Brighton. Was a good ol' weekend. Had a few nice pieces booked in, first of which was a swallow and anchor on a neck of all places. Great way to start! not really. Luckily i had my headlamp, so i could see what i was doing. She sat really well too. champ.

T'was a lifesaver.

Anyways, the next day i had Lulu in for some octopodes...

was super duper fun to do. Had a smile on my face the whole time.

Also had a cute little walk in at the end of the day Sun... which was nice, as i had someone flake on me just before she came along.

In other news, after a lot of 'umming' and 'ahhing' I entered my backpiece for "best large colour"...

and won.

The trophy is fucking RAD... and i might cry when Jay comes to collect it, coz it's the coolest thing ever. i have grown quite attached to those little guys...

ah well, i treated myself to a kickass deck from a cool stall with very friendly men and cool hats.

So anyways, i'm the only one back at work, as the refurb aint finished, so i'm tattooing out of a little corner surrounded by mayhem. My customer was travelling from Sweden, so she couldn't reschedule, and it was a fun piece to do anyways....

tonight i'm off for another art history talk in the pub, this time the theme is "suicide in medieval art".

should be enlightening.

peaked

2012-01-26T17:39:00.001Z

so, today the shop is going through a total revamp, as tomorrow we head to the brighton convention, and while we r away, Flamin 8 is having some refurb done. very exciting. also means we've been getting rid of a whole bunch of stock. it's like christmas for me, who is a partial hoarder... partial recycling enthusiast. there's been a bunch of stuff we almost chucked away that i had to salvage, coz somewhere, someone i know will most likely want it. now i just have to find somewhere to keep the stuff until these people ever come collect it. hmm. anyways, i'll sweep that under the rug for now.

even made a pretty shitty hat half decent, with some cutting, gluing, sewing, it went from left to right. much cuter...

yup.

anyways, better start packing all my gear away...

so til next time... here's a fun walk in i did yesterday...

The Big Cheese off...

2012-01-25T12:37:00.001Z

So, exciting times on the book of face...

Myself and 4 other very special people (as in special good, not special "special") have started the soon to be worldwide phenomenon that is...

drum roll...........

THE BIG CHEESE OFF!

That's right folks, we are competing for the best cheese on toast. Serious business, i tell ya! It's a closed group, but i thought i would share a screen shot to prove how true my story is....

titillating stuff....

just entered mine, so fingers crossed.

here it is in all it's glory...

t'was so good.

right, i am currently halfway through a few designs for the brighton convention, and half way through

painstakingly trying to upload cd's to the computer, then my iPod... (this very computer i am typing so gently on at present has no conception of how much i want to smash it's face in for wiping my i pod the other day....)

later, i swim. haven't been swimming in ages. if this is my last post for a while, assume i drowned.

that is all.

aloha

2012-01-23T14:01:00.000Z

so, super fun piece i just did. have been looking forward to this since he came in. very laid back, didn't bring any reference, and just wanted an old school hula girl, but not the sailor jerry one. so thats what i drew, and here it is.

in other news, i went round Spitalfields yesterday with Rory, which was fun. Haven't been round that area in the daytime for quite some time. Maybe the Russian prison exhibition i went to when i first moved back... anyways, it's been a while, and change is as good as a holiday.

Trawled around a few markets, bought hats and knitwear, and some new glasses frames (i lost my favourite pair on Saturday :( which is devastating to say the least.)

Rory has the patience of a saint, as i pretty much felt the need to walk around every stall.

Got some cool photos out and about too...

yes yes. all in all a splendid day really.

after which we went for food, i had roast chicken and found the most insane bone during the mean. i think the chicken was trying to kill me.

true story.

after dinner we went for a pint at the fairly extortionate Dirty Dicks, missed an amazing old man photo op (Oh! rory... here's the link!), but this text message cheered me up a little! haha

amazing.

cookie cutter fun

2012-01-21T17:37:00.001Z

so, today i had a super fun 1-shot in, but more on that right after i post about my apocalyptic cookies that i baked for a certain someone's birthday....

hee hee.

anyways, back to work....

here's one i made earlier...

(5 hours and a kick in the boob later)

click to enlarge peeps.

so in other news, the Brighton convention is fast approaching. i aint fully booked, i have some space sunday and saturday, so do please get in touch if u wanna get a little somethin' somthin'.

good stuff.

right i'm off. getting dinner cooked for me, and got a party to go to later on... til next time.

fishin'

2012-01-19T18:09:00.000Z

chris came in and got some more work done on his torture garden sleeve. coming along now.... i suppose it's probably a session from finished then touch ups....

here's a snippet.

right, now i'm off home to draw a bunch of trees. :(

long story. maybe y'all will find out tomorrow....

i only went out for a pint of milk...

2012-01-18T17:55:00.001Z

so, seeing as this morning i had no bookings, 5 tattoos later and i'm pretty tired!

anyways, had a sweet pop punker from New York come and get his first ever tattoo... nothing wrong with a bit o'Blinky now....

we went through our top 5 favourite pop punk bands of the 90's...

mine being (no mean feat, lemme tell ya!)

1. face to face

2. good riddance

3.MxPx

4. lawrence arms

5. screeching weasel

wait, weasel have been around since the 80's.... so surely i get to chose another....

5. All

now i had a hard time finding any half decent videos, except one for "she's my ex" with clips from high fidelity, but that's too weird for me, coz this very morning i was talking to someone bout that book, and what with my customer and his "top 5" thing.... too weird

so that's it.

back to work, and my next customer was a doozy! he came in wanting a name just blacked out on his arm.... and after me giving him a scalding, a finger shake in face and a very long "ooooooohhhhh" whilst shaking head (honestly, i reacted like a granny scalding a kid for swearing....
he got a rose.

lovely.

funny thing is, he was all

"i only popped out for a pint of milk!" when i was done.

amazing.

1 shot 2 shot 3 shot down

2012-01-16T17:45:00.002Z

so, birthday celebrations are well and truly over, and i'm quite relieved. phew. that was hard work.

i have no photos to show, as i didn't have a camera. kerry took some pics but i'm yet to see them.

so, here's a video of her dancing with some random....

and here's a sweet toy i bought for her to surely propel her to becoming a better pilot....

(the end is the best bit.)

so, today i had 3 nice custom 1-shots in. only photographed 2 of them, which i shall share....

right now!

i also managed to get enough time to splice Lulu's newest addition to her work together into some sort of comprehensive viewing system. ...

click to enlarge, as always.

oh, a customer of mine posted a very arty photo of her back which i tattooed on the F8 wall, so thought i'd share as my photos tend to look a lot more... bloody.

so, tomorrow i gotta take milo to the vet, poor guy (he's fine, just jabs, but he hates them)

wednesday i have absolutely nothing booked in, so swing by, get some ink, bring me a coffee... or just point and laugh at me. anything to help pass the time really.

cheers

so this is the new year....

2012-01-13T17:45:00.000Z

So, i haven't posted for a while. Not that i haven't had anything to post.... just.... i dunno.

Anyways, i hope all o y'all had a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Here's a video of my dog being awesome as always... this was Christmas day in Camden town outside our boozer...

tough as nuts

Anyways, here's some new tattoos as of late...

In other news, those of you in the know will know it was my Birthday on Wednesday... (Those of you not in the know will now know it was my Birthday on Wednesday).

So we went on the Jack the Ripper walk.

i had a bit of free time at work on Wednesday, so printed out some stuff i thought might come in handy on said walk....

it totally did.

the usual suspects

So today is friday, and for the past 3 (not 1... not 2....but yes....3!!!) days i have been given cupcakes.

Wednesday... courtesy of my Boss

Thursday...courtesy of my Mother...

and today... courtesy of my awesome customer!

she also got me a frog that becomes a prince as i am very single. bless.

amazing.

last night i went to an opening night of an exhibition. Eric couldn't get his head round any of it. It was classic. Made a good photo op though!

after which we went for food, i bought everyone a piece of pie.

twas good pie.

i would offer you some but i ate it all.

yup.

Anyways, tomorrow is my actual Birthday shindig, so should be good.

Til then... i'm off to the gym to try and work off all these bloody cupcakes!

til next time.

you've been framed

2012-01-05T12:20:00.000Z

quick post. did this little dude yesterday, got him all framed up, and he is for sale at £20. obviously if you are out of london and cannot collect him from the studio, i will need to include P&P.

lovely jubbly.

last tattoo of 2011

2011-12-29T17:10:00.001Z

tried just putting this straight on Facebook but every time i do... the colours go all spazzy... so here ya go, just done.

happy new year y'all.

Nothin much

2011-12-23T15:17:00.002Z

So i don't have much to blog about, but seeing as i don't have a computer at home, this may be the last post of the YEAR.... so.... i figured i may as well post some old toss just for blog's sake.

So firstly, i hope all o' y'all have a spiffy Christmas, huddled around fire places, drink in' ale, maybe a nice walk after you stuff your faces. all the usual niceties really.

too cute eh? found at www.cuteandweird.com

I also hope you all have a great new year. well, a great new years eve at least.

so, yesterday i got a surprise phone call from none other than Mr Jay Parker who was up in London for the day, so shot down to Central and went to The Crown for some proper bitter and cider. Had a little catch up, and he informed me of the convict sat with him who had just been released from prison for being a drug mule and had her sentence shortened from 4 or 5 years to only 2 and a half.

She must been pleased to be home for the holidays.

So after Jay toddled off back to Kent, i rang a few mates to see who was where. Went to the The Richard Steele for a few bevies, where i noticed they had bats hanging from the ceiling, and i thought to myself "Layla would love this!"

The ladies toilet had an amazing painting of the Queen Mother... looking like a zombie. (told you it was amazing. the likeness was UNCANNY)

So, we didn't stay long as a group of obnoxious men kept barging into me, and not apologising, leaving their only friend with manners apologising on their behalf... which was a little awkward.

Rory really loved his pint glass, and kept reminding me to remind him to take it when we left. He went to the toilet, i shoved it in my bag, and when he returned i did my best

"OH shit, i totally forgot u wanted that glass. The barman just collected it :("

He's my next customer, and he'll be very pleased when he sees it. hehe

So anyways, we left the Steele, and i got some chinese takeaway. I also got everyone fortune cookies...

"your mind is in a restless state which only travel will satisfy"

"your confusion of the past will disappear in a day or two."

"your talent will be acknowledged"

hmmm, we'll see.

anyways, found a lonesome christmas tree with a bench next to it, so sat down and we ate.

then the tree tried to eat me....

true story.

so we walked past a few bars, and stole this poster (purely because our mate Julian works on the Tube)

so we ended up in the Monarch where they have a delightful array of taxidermy. festive taxidermy at the moment in fact!

and the most bizarre vending machines in the women's toilet....

AND big mirrors with ambient lighting that made us recreate Bohemian Rhapsody....

eventful.

anyways, rory is now here, so i better get back to work. did this earlier which was quick yet fun.

anyways, the quicker i get done with work, the quicker we can all tuck into my cupcakes, exchange gifts, and i can head down the the 12 bar for a bit of K*NT and THE GANG.

shalom.

hurrah for the internet!

2011-12-22T11:41:00.000Z

i found one quotes from the scented spectres talk that i found delightful.

Smells are surer than sounds or sights
To make your heart-strings crack—
They start those awful voices o’nights
That whisper, “Old man, come back!”

and HERE is a link to an interesting blog about smells. if you are interested. (you should be. nobody gets anywhere without a little curiosity and a healthy thirst for knowledge.)

catch-up not ketchup

2011-12-21T16:39:00.003Z

so, this is where i try (operative word) to catch up on all the blogging i have not done up til now.

*deep breath*

ok, here goes....

So on Saturday everyone from Flamin' 8 got together for our annual shop Christmas party/get together/piss up.

We started off the evening at the studio where a few of us exchanged gifts (some people won't be here later this week). So here's a pic of what i got for Kirtsy...

Pretty rad. God bless Mitch O' Connell

So after a few drinks in the studio, we headed off to the roundhouse for La Soiree

It was really entertaining, and a little mind boggling at times which is never a bad thing.

this guy was awesome. he could dislocate everything.... and i mean everything. at one point he dislocated his shoulder and elbow and had his arm spinning round his head like a helicopter.

there was a male pole dancer who was so incredibly strong. he could lift himself off the ground horizontally using only his arms. it's hard to explain, but it was mental. never seen anything like it.

Ely tried to recreate it with the help of a bus stop later that eve.... not so well.

apologies for the darkness of my video. but it was dark. you really get a sense of the darkness we were experiencing. what a fabulous director i would make. quite the auteur i reckon.

So anyways, after the circus, we went for dinner at Belgo

they have a very interesting list of beers to purchase. i think between everyone we probably tried the lot.

the food was real good too. shame Lal decided to play with his meal before realising it was actually mine. must be the dementia setting in.

(hey, i know how much he loves winding me up.... so take it on the chin)

i promise it looked more appetising before Lal had his way with it.

Anyways, i couldn't finish the meal so the waiter made some sort of dragon/swan creation with the leftover for Milo. Bless

i actually forgot to give him the chicken that night, and woke up at stupid o clock and suddenly remembered i had festering chicken in my bag. Got up and rushed to the living room where i found milo had beaten me to it, and managed to rip the tin foil into a million pieces. i was kinda expecting whatever came out the other end to look a little festive and glittery, but nothing. seems dogs don't like the taste of tin foil either. who knew.

the giant door knocker on the bathroom door left and imprint of a smiley face on the wall, so i had to get a photo of ely with it, after all, she is called ely "smyly"

speaking of smiley faces, this is my anti-masterpiece on Layla's car.

i should have anti-freezed a massive '?' on this vehicle...

ooooh, i also shoulda checked the other side to see if it read "south of ping pong"

that woulda been cool.

So Sunday i met up with good ol' Simon for another epic roast. Sat in a nice pub next to a wood fire. splendid stuff.

Then we both cowboyed up and braved the crowds in Camden market in a desperate attempt to finish off our Christmas shopping. I managed. He didn't. He did make lists, and then go home and make a list in reference to his prior list. Organisation is key.

I wish i had a home big enough for a rocking pig. I love him....

Next door was a nicknack homeware shop. I left my mark. (oooh, wording. love the english language i do.)

got a few pompous unimpressed headshakes, but fuck it.

lighten up

it's CHRISTMAS!

anyways the guys at the shop can't have minded too much, as i got this text the next day.... (has to be one of the best text messages i've ever had the pleasure of receiving)

Genius.

I bought a hand knitted badger from a Jamaican lady called Harry (the badger.... not the lady). That would be weird. "harry" isn't a traditional Jamaican name by any standards....

he's adorable.

also got this awesome pin badge!

and got my Mum an adorable present, but am too scared it'll break in the mail, so it'll have to wait til i see her next. i might cry when i give it to her. It's just so lovely.

So thats my weekend all blogged, just Monday and Tuesday to go.

right, i'm having a smoke break.

back

shakes

lambs

tail

well, it's now a fair bit later than 2 shakes of a lambs tail, but y'all are none the wiser. i guess now i am officially in the future and you are in the past. fascinating stuff. oh, speaking of which, me and simon found a time machine on Sunday. i won't divulge where, but it's true. true story.

Anyways, Monday i went to an art history talk on "scented spectres and the smell of ghosts"

all very interesting, and we even had hand outs of different smells to heighten our senses. Layla came with me, and we ended up sharing a table with an old couple. The man seemed a little less than enthralled to be there, and the woman couldn't get enough of the scents. i swear she was wiping her nose on them. I won't be surprised if i now catch the flu.

some awesome slides of old scent bottle advertising...

our eclectic collection of various scents. (they are now in a zip lock bag hanging up in my living room.)

It was an interesting talk, about the Olfactory region of the brain which got compared to a haunted house in quite a charming metaphor. Cant quite remember what it was though.

should have taken notes.

Anyways, Layla was kind enough to give me a lift home back through Muswell hill where i noticed their church does not have a Christmas tree.

High Barnet church - 1

Muswell Hill church - 0

So yesterday was my day off, and i took it upon myself to do some festive cupcake baking.

today i tattooed some nice script i sketched out yesterday whilst waiting for my cakes to cool. forgot to take a photo.... but here's my set up.

His sister got tattooed last week, and posting it totally slipped my mind... so here it is.

i think that's one of the most delightful little pieces of script i've ever done.

yup. that's it for now.

i doubt anyone made it this far. that was quite a long post.

if u r reading this....

U R MY HERO!

Christmas Noir

2011-12-21T14:10:00.002Z

So sorry in the delay of posting the pics.... i have all of a sudden been very busy at work. Anyways, i now have some free time so.... without further ado.... Here are the pics from the Haunted Christmas Noir exhibition on Friday.

(click images to go large)

was a good turn out by all accounts. Really nice mixture of artwork on display too, so something for everyone i'm sure.

So after some nibbles, some wine and some general chit chat with old friends and new, me and Al decided to do some head squeeze shots. (See, i photograph everything, and have retarded ideas, and Al is an amazing photographer, so between the 2 of us, we are a mean machine i tell ya!)

Much to my surprise, Shiraz had never seen the head squeeze thing. EVER. I didn't even realise that was possible. so more head squeezing commenced, as she had in insatiable thirst to suddenly catch up on a life time of missed out squeezed heads. bless.

the quality of head squeeze shots quickly deteriorated though...

Ah well. Nothing lasts forever... even in a zombie infested studio. Guess that's just life. Or death... or "undeath" or.... oh now this is getting deep.

back to the point at hand...

So then we moved on to posing with the decapitated model of Jo which was a little awesome to say the

least!

i noticed when pulling all the images off my camera, (namely the ones that Al took. Well, ALL of the ones that Al took....) i have 3 or 4 of almost the same image. i could probably make a flip book of the evening that would play out pretty concisely. I won't. I did make a little 'photo booth version of the pic(s) i got with Andy though...

I also made Andy a Birthday card coz it was his birthday the day before the party.

So after the party.... there was (you guessed it) the "after party".

By this point we had all had a fair bit to drink. i was dancing with a man who looked like he was made of rubber for a while which was... educational.

i also discovered what i would look like with a goatee....

was a really good night.

til i missed 2 buses.

that was shitty.

hmph

P.S

Al Overdrive is part alien... i got video proof!

Shark tales

2011-12-19T17:55:00.000Z

So today i had some really fun pieces booked in. whoop whoop.

Started off with a fun blossom branch on a girls back....

My last customer today got a really fun piece, and has the most amazing taste in clothing....

i look tired coz i am.

Anyways, he wanted a sharks mouth with a ship's wheel in it, but i couldn't manage designing anything like that without it looking like that weird angry vagina with teeth from that film.... "Teeth". Luckily saying to ur customer "i think we should do the sharks head coz i'm worried it'll look like an angry vagina.... like that one from that film... "Teeth" makes them pretty much agree with you with no thought involved.

So this is what i sketched out and did a few minutes ago.

Super fun to do, even in the ditch of the arm. He sat really well too which is always a bonus.

As i was packing away, i noticed that the tissue resting on my stencil had almost identical blood spatter as what i did on the tattoo.

Same shirt, phantom blood spatter... too weird.

Righio, now my blog is well and trully not chronological... (i still need to post the pics from the Christmas Noir night, and pics from the Flamin 8 X Mas do.... ) i am feeling a little outta whack.

My next few posts may be confusing, and for that i apologise in a pre-emptive pathetic grasp at just trying to get back to when my blogs were in order in the space time continuum....

sushi time!

2011-12-19T14:59:00.001Z

So, the lovely Lulu came in on Saturday for her sushi piece that i was super amped about doing. Originally we were gonna place it inner upper arm, but once she saw the design, she went for forearm, which meant we had to flip the image... luckily she is left handed... even more luckily...i still managed to squeeze the script on the handle that way round. just. phew!

so, here it is.... her psycho sushi tattoo.

a tattoo is born...

best of all, she brought belgian chocolate brownies!

ok, i have a lot of other stuff to post, but i'm in between customers... so that all folks (for now....)

There's no business like snow business.

2011-12-16T16:47:00.000Z

So.... woke up today, looked outside and by golly, it was snowing!

So, i put on my most snow related socks (Hana.... i hope u r proud)

Put on my new knitwear.... very festive indeed...

And once i finally managed to coax little Milo outta the front door, we went to the park where it was looking rather pretty. There were lots of squirrels running about frantically trying to find food to store i imagine...

Maybe i'll take some nuts over the weekend to give them a helping hand.

Milo hates the snow. These next few weeks are gonna be hard work...

In other news, i spotted the weirdest sock packaging last night...

(Hana... more socks! god aren't u a lucky little minx?!)

"inusable"

I also spotted what i can only imagine a bike belonging to the most responsible toddler in existence... or the smallest midget know to man.

Oh, and my stunning new scarf arrived too!

So as I mentioned yesterday, tonight is the Haunted Christmas Noir exhibition.

Here's the details from their Facebook page:

This show is a collaboration between fine art and tattoo art celebrating all things Xmas Noir. Artwork will be on display December 16th - January 16th with contributions coming from different artists from all around the world.

Our opening night will be on Friday December 16th with a reception at Haunted from 6-8 followed by a party at The Horatia featuring cockney cabaret legend Nigel Burch and his Flea Pit Orchestra.

We are looking forward to a bloody merry Xmas!

The artwork is being sold to raise money for Cancer research, so if owning some fucked up Christmassy paintings doesn't float your boat on it's own merit.... Do it for charity :)

tis the season

2011-12-15T16:39:00.003Z

holy macaroni. i don't know where to start. well, 1st up, i will post the kickass christmas tree man/creature i encountered...

he was outside a pub me n Ely went to on Saturday night on the way to a tattoo studio opening party. I am not gonna post what events unfolded that night.... i wouldn't even know how to put it into words.... but just for my peace of mind... i will post some phrases to jog my memory if ever i am reading my blog on a trip down memory lane.

rubber people

massive phone

po po

brooms

beardy man

derren brown

ok, so now that's all done, back to the rest of the week.

So every year the shop has a Christmas party, and it is fast approaching, so on Tuesday, i did all my Christmas shopping for everyone at work. I spent far too much money, but i'd rather give good gifts than absolute tat that nobody wants. Good thing Harry is away coz i probably would have broken the bank buying him stuff too.

I also purchased some stuff for myself, including more knitwear (don't ask... i can't resist)

amazing!

it also came with a kickass postcard....

also got myself a mexican wrestling mask... so this is now what my tibetan masks look like in the bedroom.... so pimped!

and i got this absolutely stunning book...

So that's me done treating myself. this is the 1st christmas i'll be spending without a significant other for.... as long as i can remember to be honest. So yeah, those are my presents to myself.

Oh, I'm also glad to announce that all but 1 of my custom Christmas cards have sold. I think I'll keep one anyways, nice to have records of stuff. Well obviously.... i blog. You know what i mean though. Maybe.

I also got a little glue gun crazy and made some festive hair clips. I have 2 left, they are selling at £3 each. So get in touch if u want them. They are in the studio, so swing by and grab them if you find ur self in the area, or desperately seeking a Christmas clip.

Doesn't Rooster look dapper?

In other news, I posted an I am the avalanche song on Facebook the other day, only to find out they were playing London 2 days later! Madness.

So I booked myself a ticket at work, and was good to go solo... then Kerry pretty much got stood up, so met her for drinks... and some random dude outside the gig had been stood up by his girlfriend, so 2 wrongs made a right for a change and Kerry got herself a ticket! amazing.

Me n Kez were stood right near the door to backstage which is inconveniently halfway down the room, and people kept shoving past us before the band came on stage....

And 5 dudes started pushing past, and i could tell Kez was having none of it... til this happened....

Me : they're allowed past. they are the band.

Kerry: BAHAHAHAHAHA

then i poked Vinnie in the bum. i was in a weird groupie mood... what can i say?

He's such an awesome frontman. So polite and genuinely nice. He even had a stream to his Dad in New York for his song about him. too adorable.

He also did a good ol' rant about feelings, and people you love, and not wasting a second... and i got a little choked up.

The gig was awesome, and i had a super sweet chat with the guitarist after. Basically, Vinnie made a real point of hating when bands walk off stage only to come back on 2 seconds later for an encore... so he just said "this next song is the encore. don't be shy, if you know it... come on down"

so i did

and the guitarist got all up in my face and started screaming with excitement. It was odd. He'd spotted me near the back the whole show. I thought it was really sweet he noticed. bless.

here's the song that got me dancing. rare.

this is my all time favourite track of theirs, and i just found a sweet acoustic version.... enjoy.

I don't think i have any more gigs to go to pre new year... so i'm not sure what i'll be doing to pass the time. I won't be working between Christmas and New Year, yet i won't have much money to do anything with... so i might hibernate for a wee while. Shame i'm already halfway through An Idiot Abroad season 2. Maybe i'll start on the box set of The Inbetweeners i very kindly got given to me. I've just been staring at it next to my TV for the past few months as opposed to actually watching it. Time for a change of tactics perhaps....

Tomorrow is the Haunted Christmas Noir exhibition, so i should have some good photos to post from that, then Sat it's the shop party....

woop dee doo.

Work doesn't always have to feel like work.

2011-12-12T15:13:00.000Z

so.... Miss Lulu came in on Saturday for a pretty long session on her forearm. I tattooed her a few years ago in Hong Kong, so was nice catching up. Here's what we got done....

I've left it open ended slightly, as it will eventually wrap all the way around the arm, and didn't wanna close off the edges too much for that precise reason.

She's coming in this coming Saturday for another really fun piece that didn't take much persuasion on my part. Went something like this...

me 'i really wanna do a sushi tattoo'

lulu 'ok.'

haha. awesome.

in other news, the lovely Alex came in for his charity Movember tattoo.

frightfully swanky.

Done deal

2011-12-07T17:01:00.001Z

So! Yesterday i went for my final ... (what's that? oh yeah, u read right.... FINAL) session on my back....

We didn't have too much to do, some grey background and colour in the peacock feathers across the top.

Here's the finished piece....

so worth it. Now I'm thinking about the rest of my torso though.... which is a very scary thought. God, i remember how much i suffered getting my stomach done the first time.... so getting full front is gonna suck immensely... i'm sure of that.

Anyways, a massive thanks to Jay Parker, who did the piece. He also taught me how to tattoo... so needless to say, i owe him a lot.

Here he is, in case u were wondering.

(he really aint too keen on being photographed)

Yup that's him. Note what an awesome t shirt he's wearing....

I'll be doing some cool pieces on him in the New Year which I'm looking forward to.

So we went for a few well deserved drinks afterwards in an adorable little pub in Maidstone. Met an old man called Trev who had an endearing habit of repeating the last word of everybody's sentences and chuckling to himself... I'm not sure everybody else could hear him, but he was sat next to me so it was constant entertainment.

It aint everyday u hear an old fella go "hehe Minge.... hehe"

classic.

Once i got home (it's a fair old way to travel, and it always takes it outta me & by the time i set foot through my front door i'm knackered.... so) i laid on the sofa with the pooch and watched a movie. Milo was being extra adorable....

gotta love that lil' guy.

I'd feel more fulfilled making Christmas cards with the mentally ill.

2011-12-05T13:54:00.001Z

So! I have my batch of super cute cards on the desk next to me. now all they need is a loving home. They are selling for £1 each. Come with cute envelopes, available for pick up at Flamin Eight, Kentish Town.

for scale....

so! Limited supply available.... come n get 'em while u can! You never know... you could get hit by Santa's sled tomorrow....

too cool for a school of fish

2011-12-05T13:30:00.000Z

so, Christmas is approaching, i know this because for a variety of reasons:

*Everyone is frantic and running around like a headless chicken trying to buy gifts for their nearest and dearest.
*Music being played in shops has taken a dramatic turn for the worse...
*It's fucking cold.
*A gigantic Christmas tree has been erected outside the church where i live.
*That overwhelming heaviness of excess and greed seems to be clouding the zeitgeist.

I have done no Christmas shopping, and i aint panicked. I just don't know what to get anyone.... so more bemused i suppose.

So, went round to Kerry's to help decorate her Christmas tree and drink some wine, also known as "the blood of Christ".

She had bought a cool pack of baubles that come with pens so u can draw whatever you want on them.... be it the face of Mary, an inverted crucifix, or something a little more simple....

loving how the flash is complementing my masterpiece.

Getting in the spirit. Or maybe the spirit got in me...

the girlies.

i have to say, the tree did look pretty damn swanky. oh how mightily talented we must be.

sticking with the festivities, here's some pics from the winter wonderland that never got posted...

the moose was serenading me. wish y'all coulda heard him.

so over the weekend i went down to brighton. it was absolutely bone chillingly cold.

had to wait a while for traffic to fuck off for this photo...

it was worth it.

the Pavilion in all it's glory...

So I trawled through some pretty awesome shops and found this gem for Milo....

found myself some super cute mittens...

and bought some dudes hand and foot...

love it.

where in the world?

2011-12-01T16:38:00.005Z

So i found a section of the map of the world on the tube yesterday. Who in the hell rips up a map and leaves a section? Now i feel like i'm part of some sort of mission.... i just don't know what it is. Or where this is....

Anyways, can't go on blogging about a mission when i don't know what my mission is now.... can i?!

So, here's a tattoo i did today... thought i may as well post something. Seems all i've been doing recently is script, script and more script. Oh, and a few stars here and there.... so this was a nice change.

Right, so with work and random finds all blogged, i guess all we're left with is what i've been up to recently (aside from photographing old men of course).

Well, i've frantically been trying to get a piece of artwork started, and finished as quickly as possible, as i totally forgot about the Haunted Christmas Noir exhibition, which i had agreed to do a piece to exhibit in... oops.

anyways, it's almost done, maybe i'll finish it tonight at home.... but til then.... here's a sneak peek. I'm also thinking about getting it printed up and selling cards of it for Christmas.... so eyes peeled. watch this space....

almost done with the colour, still got the background and relining to go.... but only a few hours left at the most.

So this weekend Miss Hana was meant to be staying at mine for our £5 budget weekend, but she was taken ill, and didn't make it... so I pretty much hibernated. It was insanely sunny on Sunday.... So i opened the patio doors, and i think Milo got a bit excited, thinking winter was officially over. Little does he know....

i think this photo of my front room proves how damn sunny it was out. Milo did a lot of basking....

Bless him.
it's actually his birthday today, so can't wait to go home and spend some quality time with the pooch.

So a little later i went out for a skate. I actually waited til dusk coz it was so bloody hot out!

Also took Milo to the park... tried a new park this time, which was really nice and quiet. The one closest to my house has a bowling green and a kids playground, so it can be pretty mental on Sundays.

I also cooked up a mean roast dinner. Was pretty impressed with myself going through all that effort just for myself, but i milked it for all it's worth and had amazing sandwich's for days to follow with the leftovers.

Monday night i went to an art history talk in a pub about taxidermy and colonialism.
found a seat up on an empty balcony.... and felt a little like these guys....

after the talk i went to Gary's cheese n pickle night, and shot some deer with Kerry and Andy who is a guest artist from Norway...

Andy turned out to be quite a sharp shooter..... although he shot everything and anything, and therefore didn't do so well in the game...

me: "oh! you're done! you shot a doe!"

andy: "i shot a what?"

me: "a doe, a female... you can't shoot does"

andy "WHY NOT!?!"

haha

So on Tuesday, me and Anna went to the Winter Wonderland.

Was gutted she came out the tube a little late, coz i saw the most amazing old man walking down the road with two MASSIVE blue parrots on his shoulders! God, i was in such shock i didn't even get a photo. Devastating.

Anyways, the wonderland was pretty rad!

Took a bunch of tacky photos. If i was one of those people that a) sent christmas cards, and b) made personalised photo montage cards to show everyone you know how 'happy' you are... i would have been like a pig in shit.

i'm not one of those people.

So we headed straight for some good ol' mulled wine while we mulled over what to do. (see what i did there) oh yeah.

There were loads of rides, and gift stalls, and food establishments, and.... stuff. lots of stuff. Luckily, as it was early afternoon on a weekday, it wasn't too busy, and we didn't have to queue for anything. Anna aint a huge fan of rides, so we started off gently with the big wheel.

Coz it was empty, we got out own booth, which was cool. They even had the radio playing so we ended up dancing around to christmas tunes like a couple of spastics. good times.

My phone totally spazzed out at the top, and had no idea where in the country i was. i have photos saved as 'carlisle' and 'mendip'. both places i have never been.

It was extremely windy, and once we got to the top, it stopped for a fair few minutes while (i can only assume) they were letting more people on the ride... Our carriage started swinging like a frantic monkey.... and needless to say, we both thought we may very well meet our fateful demise that Tuesday afternoon.

obviously... we didn't.

So after what can only be described as a painfully unnecessary amount of rotations, we got off the bloody wheel. was good to have our feet planted firmly on the temporary ground they had laid down for the event.

There were loads of people with dogs there, and part of me wished i had brought Milo.... then i saw all these birds and remembered the last time he came into close proximity with a lake and birds he almost got devoured by a foul tempered goose.

So the only other ride Anna agreed to get on was the teacups. They looked pretty safe... and slow. However, seeing as we were the only people on the ride, the attendant and his buddy came and stood over us the entire ride, manually spinning our teacup til the g force was at a point where i couldn't even muster the strength to lift my head away from the back of the seat. it was... truly..... insane.

so we decided we'd had enough of the stalls selling their weird tat which i find unfathomable as to why anyone could ever possibly want, let alone NEED. seriously... there was a guy selling wooden ties. WOODEN TIES!

has the world gone MAD?!

So we ate.

yup.

that night i went to go see Pinback play. if you don't know Pinback, you truly don't know what u r missing out on. On the same note.... if you don't know what you are missing out on, i suppose it doesn't matter.

i guess it's only an issue when you DO in fact know what u r missing out on.

so here's a video....

and here's a pic of the gig...

Last night i went to go see Defeater, which was also incredible. I love Defeater... and the last time i saw them play was the first opportunity i'd had to see them live, and i was blown away. This show they were not headlining (unfortunately) so their set was way shorter. Still very enjoyable though.

Here's one of my favourite tracks of theirs...

and their acoustic stuff is rad too....

til next time, here's a pic of me from zombie booth (Ely just got the app on her phone).

London to a 'T'

2011-11-25T15:44:00.007Z

so, yesterday was a fucking awesome day. It was just me n Layla in, but i was booked up with sweet sweet stuff with sweet sweet customers. Conversation flowed seamlessly, and all in all, t'was a good day.

First up we have Chris, continuing his Torture Garden sleeve. (well, technically he was my 2nd customer of the day, but i'm excluding mentioning the 1st for a myriad of reasons. One being he called to tell me he was running 10 minutes late, ten minutes after he was meant to be here. i can tell the time. i don't need a talking clock.) hmmm.

Anyways, we got a good few hours in, working on the underwater section down by his wrist. All the while discussing my top secret thing that i can't talk about.... and secret societies, including one in particular that serves the small. Oh, i also told Chris and Layla all about my early morning commute game i have devised to kill some time. Shall i elaborate? O.K....

So i get on the tube at the end of the line, and it's never that busy on the morning commute, so i'll start at one end of the train, and each stop i'll move down a carriage.... and once a complete stranger smiles at me ... (not in a creepy way, but in a "oh what a lovely day, i'm in such a good mood... la dee daa" kinda way)....that's when i stay in the carriage i'm in. Lets just say i'm moving carriages A LOT. kills the time though.

Layla called me a 'dark horse'. I think it was her way of saying "you're insane". I'm fine with being a dark horse. Means i have untapped potential. Oh, i also introduced her to the wonders of Coaltar of the Deepers who are an AWESOME band. good stuff. So here's what we got done on Chris' arm....

and here's what the clinical waste trash looks like after 3 hours of underwater tattoo action....

so much for "blue and green should never be seen without something in between", eh?

as always, Chris gave me a rad tip! Stoked.

So then i had itty bitty Maria in for her pre-leaving London piece...

super fun one to do, it's pretty small on her ankle. and seeing as she's pretty small too.... it's really pretty small.

It was just as i was photographing her that i came up with the "London to a T" comment. She didn't get it.... and that's fine, coz she's Italian. Layla got it, and laughed, which is fine coz she's English.

can i also add.... i have NEVER MANAGED to figure out how to splice pics together on photoshop.... til now. epicness encapsulated.

in other news, it's Kez's birthday, so tonight will be.... well... let's just say tonight will be fun. Tomorrow on the other hand.... will most likely be torture. Who cares about tomorrow though?

The past is history,

the future is a mystery...

and right now is a gift.

That's why they call it

"the present".

true story.

what's in a week?

2011-11-23T12:12:00.000Z

so... last week Tommy came in to get his ribs tattooed. His brother does some pretty rad artwork, and this is one of his pieces. Didn't get it all finished, but got it all lined, and prob got through 75% of the black. So til next time.... this is all you get. A nice pair of boots.

After which i went down to Hammersmith to see Death Cab. Was an awesome show, as always.

Sunday was pretty eventful too. Got up pretty early, and went out for a skate. This is what Sunday morning looked like....

was a little worried it would be too icy to skate, but it was fine... although times a ticking' and it's getting colder n colder by the day.

Sunday evening i got a message of my mate, Sam who was feeling the cabin fever, so we went out for an epic roast in one of my favourite dog friendly Sunday roast haunts which shall remain unnamed for fear of more people knowing about it....

That evening, i went along to punk rock karaoke...

it was pretty empty. i didn't recognise ANYONE there, but it was fun, and it's not everyday u get to see guys from awesome bands jamming together and just having a generally good time.

Yesterday was my day off, and i'd booked in with good ol' Andy at the ever-green Haunted weeks ago to get some little bits n bobs done....

i think this shop is one of the few places in existence with more crap about than my humble abode!

wearing gloves today is proving a little tortuous....

left side of my brain thinks like this....

right side of my brain tends to be a little more like this....

So after good times, a little pain and some good catch up chatting, i swooped on down to Angel to meet Kez who i haven't seen much of recently.

i like Angel tube, i like how they have a "thought of the day". i wish my train station had that... although High Barnet has a massive bear sculpted out of a tree trunk, and a kids plastic train set on permanent display.... so we aint too shabby.

So after a few drinks, some cheese and meat.... Kez had to head off to meet a friend and i went to go see the Okkervil River gig which was awesome. I wasn't expecting anyone i know to be there, and i was right.... although a friend of mine was selling the mercy, so at least there was someone to chat to in intervals. I didn't get any pics, so here's a music video for y'all....

The back drop at the gig was fuckin' sweet... designed by Will Sheff, the singer. He does really nice kinda illustrative folksy artwork.... got a cool t shirt designed by him last night too. y'all should get on that google and check it out!

good stuff.

shine a light

2011-11-19T17:12:00.001Z

So the ever awesome Hana came down yesterday morning.... and seeing as i was working, i sent her home to get some rest. Think she's been seriously sleep deprived, and needed as many winks as she could get hold of. After work, her fine self and Simon came to meet me, and we trotted off to the Pineapple.... where they had a complete blackout. Didn't stop us ordering drinks and most likely paying a fraction of their true value (always a bonus when people can't be arsed to do mental addition).

Also didn't stop us from having a frightfully wicked game of scrabble, where i think we managed to dispute every 2 letter word ever entered into a dictionary.

thought i'd better use the flash for some pics, as i'd imagine a blog only compiled of dark grainy photographs wouldn't really be acceptable blog-behaviour.

you could say i cheated, as 2 heads are better than one. however, milo seemed to also bring with him the "curse of no vowels" which is a slight hinderance.

it was awesome to hang with hana again, i've missed her, and she's off for 6 months soon, so every little segment of time must be savoured. also good to hang with simon, as he's back off to Glasgow as i type.... so won't be seeing him for a while, and he's off to the States for X Mas.... so double deprivation for me.

so after a pit stop in a second pub (our bladders aren't what they used to be....) we went n bought some stale donuts for 17p, and shared a cheese and plum chutney sandwich, and some Crabbies on the "wailing wall"(long story... but what an absolute hilarious namesake) .... if only you knew.

Buying our dinner was a slight disturbance to the evening, as the shop assistant felt the need to be rude and obnoxious to me.... TWICE! (i didn't hear his utterly retarded comment the first time round.... so he felt the need to repeat it. louder. charming)

so then we headed off to the Black Heart for Liam from Booze n Glory's birthday shenanigans. (Simon was adamant he had stuff to do before he went back to Glasgow... he was adamant he wouldn't come.... he was adamant he would be at home by this point... doing what he needed to do) He came with.

*Pah! i laugh in the face of a man who tries to tear himself away from our company yet can't*

The barman immediately felt the need to inform us dogs are not usually allowed inside after 8pm... but we totally won him over, and it didn't take long for him to pour Milo a glass of water and educate me on how awesome and calm my own dog is.

T'was a nice evening. A little dancing, a lot of sausages getting fed to Milo, and Liam had a pretty rad cake.

So, that was then. Oh! I almost forgot the most bizarre chat up i have ever experienced.... went something like this:

him "your dog is really cute"

me 'thanks'

him "is it a chihuahua?"

me 'yup'

him "he looks like a little Boston!"

me 'i know!!! i love Bostons!'

him "yeah he's super cute. really adorable (starts running up the stairs).... *yells* AND SO ARE YOU!"

weird.

This morning i had to be up in time for work, so nothing too eventful. Hana proudly sported the merch i gave her last visit.... which is always appreciated.

yes, that is Milo mid-yawn. He was also the last to get up might i add. Despicable.

So we went for a stroll in the park, talked about ice cream, mean parents, out door film screenings, what we would do if we could afford to rent the cafe that's for lease in the middle of the park... spotted a squirrel! (Charlotte.... it WASN'T a rat this time and i have PROOF!)

amazing.

She's back for one last visit next week, where we are giving ourselves a fiver a day budget. she's broke, and we r gonna see how much fun we can have on a budget tighter than a D cup breast in an A cup bra.

niceties go a long way.

2011-11-16T11:19:00.002Z

got a sweet e mail from my customer from the other day.

"Hello all at Flamin eight.

I'd like to thank Julia for a great tattoo, I love it. I'd also like to thank you all for the warm welcome. After posting pics of my tattoo on facebook, I've had a lot of people ask where I had the art done so hopefully you'll get some more referrals.

Kind regards,

Jason"

he also sent along some pics he took during the session. thought i'd share.

lovely jubbly.

tonight i'm off to see Death Cab For Cutie. i know, i know, twice within 6 months. i'm a lucky girl.....

head bangin'

2011-11-14T17:49:00.000Z

so, i had no appointments booked in today, which was kinda shitty. got a walk in pretty early on, managed to get 2 designs done.... finished this off, which i hadn't even lined yet....

i didn't have any of my pencils at the shop, so had to use a half empty 10 pack thats been in my cupboard for as long as i can remember. the only colours were brown, yellow, blue and a grey pencil that was just scratchy as hell. hence the colour scheme. tell ya what, if i did all my paintings/drawings in almost monotone.... i would have a lot more free time. i like my colours though, and i like using up time..... so don't expect more like this.

(it's not that warped in real life, but it's a photo so the page curled up a lil'.)

anyways, just as i thought that was my lot.... i got this super fun walk in....

amazing how a good head tattoo can lighten your mood. i really really enjoy tattooing heads, and most definitely do not get the opportunity to do enough. *hint hint* people....

well i never

2011-11-14T14:55:00.001Z

so, seems Sharron's sailor girl tattoo i did a while back got featured in this here issue of Bizarre's tattoo special.

sweet as! Flattered, slightly astonished, bemused maybe. yes, bemused.

also super amped about this

and couldn't be more humbled by the testimonials that got sent in. so to whoever sent them.... i'm really flattered. you're too kind.

spermicidal tendencies

2011-11-11T16:36:00.002Z

so.... long story short. kirsty was tattooing Rufe a few weeks back. maybe it was months... anyways, it was a while ago. He was talking about someone getting a sleeve ... or back piece (my memory fails me... much like a lot in my life).... of "japanese sea men" now see.... i heard "japanese semen" .... so this is how the story started.

once upon a time, there was a girl with bad memory, bad hearing, and a bad mind.

so i drew a japanese semen. and today, at work, me n kirsty had some free time, so she tattooed a japanese semen on me and i drew up an english semen for her.

here's me doing the deed on kirsty....

and here's her english semen.

kirsty doing the deed on me (apologies for the socks, at no point this morning whilst getting dressed did i ever... in my wildest dream.... expect my sock to be a subject of a photograph. )

and there's my newest addition. cheers kirsty.

in other news, i saw this lil' guy about a month ago, and just noticed the photo on my phone while pulling off todays cum shots.

poor little guy.

til next time.... the end.

also, just spotted this on lords blog. sweet photos. try n spot me. i'm super hard to spot, eh?

i should be drawing... not blogging....

2011-11-10T16:34:00.000Z

so quick post as i have design homework i should be doing..... but here's a fun 1-shot i did today. was odd, the reference he sent through was very traditional, flat colour etc, but once he got in the chair he was open to more shading/tonal value/colours, so it ended up being a lot more enjoyable for me to do. super nice customer. good stuff. he even put up with me playing ELO on the stereo. yup.

fact, not fiction. truth, not lies...

2011-11-07T15:52:00.002Z

wow, been a pretty crappy week or 2. found out some really awful news about not one but TWO people i know. not good at all. won't blog all about that though, so instead, i will blog about burgers, bb guns and backstage.

so Anna recently insisted we go try this "amazing" burger joint. it was pretty amazing, all though the waitress didn't put me at rest.

me (to waitress) : "i'm really excited to be eating here! i've heard SO MANY good things about this place!"
waitress : 'hmmm, well see if you feel the same way after you've eaten.'

hmmmm. odd. very odd indeed.

the food was good. the waitress was weird.

anyways, we then went for 'hard shakes' in the Diner. they do the best alcoholic shakes ever. EVER.

also saw this.... (if u haven't seen this movie you won't get the reference. and you should be ashamed. )

along the way we bumped in to a few other people we know, and before i knew it, all the pubs were closed. luckily, i had been tipped an entire bottle of rum for tattooing Ely, so had that in my backpack, and a friend who lived across the road. So to his flat we ventured, where he decided to get his super crazy collection of gas powered BB guns out. yup. Mike shot Pieman in the face. TWICE

went something like this.....

mike (shoots gun).....

pieman (clutches face and roars in agony)

mike "it's not loaded!"

me (looking at simon....) 'i think it is'

mike shoots his own hand... ''oh fuck''

yeah. so if the police need an official report. use this blog post. Pieman's fine, although he looks like a thug.

Last night we went to see ~The Filaments, The Skints, and Capdown.......

after a bit of a mission to get backstage, we managed, and the view is always awesome from side stage.

'twas a good night.

i wasn't even that set on going, but i couldn't resist a rocking Sunday roast, and seeing as we ate down the road, it seemed a waste not to make the most of the ensuing musical wonders of days of yore.

was a really odd gig to see in this day and age, seeing as the Filaments n Capdown were playing shows i was frequenting 10 years ago, but it was nostalgic to say the least, and good to bump into some old faces i hadn't seen in a while.

weird thing happened last night though. (Pieman is convinced whenever I'm around, weird shit happens) and i was starting to think he was exaggerating... however, i don't think u can get weirder than this....

so before we got backstage, we were stood by the sound booth on the 1st tier (or "shelf" as the guitarist from the Skints called it?! so London, innit) and i see this super creepy man. i turn to Pieman and whisper "10 o' clock, serial killer, true story" he turns, and agrees the man is very conspicuous....

anyways, later on, while we r stood side of stage, HE'S there, behind us.... once more. now I'm pretty sure he wasn't with the bands, or friends of the band like the rest of us.... but we just shrugged it off.

later that night, after the gig, we go for some non-wallet raping drinks, and who's there? the creepy serial killer guy. again. too weird. anyways, a few hours pass, i get caught up in conversation, and miss the last train by a whisker. shame. i always forget this country opens and closes on Sundays in accordance to an outdated religious time frame. oh well. so i waited a good while for a night bus, boarded night bus, and fell asleep. i live at the last stop, so this never proves problematic, and sleep does help pass time don't you know. anyways, end of line, the driver comes to wake me up..... you guessed it.

THE CREEPY SERIAL KILLER STALKER GUY WAS MY NIGHT BUS DRIVER

you couldn't write this stuff.

although in blogging about it, i have now written it, but i can assure you it is not fiction, it is me recanting the strangest thing.....

very strange.

So tonight, the Aggrolites r playing the Underworld, but i've been feeling all gigged out recently, so think i'm gonna give it a miss. i bought a book this week, listing London's nicest pubs, and i think i may take it upon myself to go find a few, and just sit and read or draw instead of frequenting gigs. Saying that, i am going to see Death Cab next week, which i am super excited about seeing! No rest for the wicked i guess.

better late than never

2011-11-03T15:44:00.001Z

so, yesterday was Day of the Dead, and here's what i did today. fun lil back of arm 1-shot. photo looks a little warped, he was resting his arm on a rest.... i should have taken it with him standing. *slaps wrists*

i have also come to realise that when ur machine is spitting all the way up your arm to your SLEEVE it's about time for new bands.

in other news, got on the list for the King Blues, who i mention fairly often on here, but they are my friends, so harmless plugging is allowed, surely?

it is an odd feeling watching people you grew up with be adored by 40 year old men and kids alike. very odd indeed.

also odd watching the gig with Al (people will know why, if u know the lyrics to "hang the landlord" hahaha)

so the after party was gash, and packed, so we headed to a regular pub where i met the most awesome dog ever! so friendly.

yup. that's all folks.

trust me, i'm a doctor

2011-11-02T13:41:00.002Z

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
Doctor Who

So, yesterday i travelled across London to visit this. Well worth the tube time, and not everybody can say they got to fly the tardis (which really is much bigger on the inside might i add) no camera trickery involved whatsoever.

not everyday u get to high 5 a scarecrow. unless i suppose u r a farmer, with a field, and in the field is housed a scarecrow, offering a hand. but, yeah, other than that, not every day.

i could have totally taken on this Dalek. c'mon 2 fists vs. a toilet plunger and a whisk? place ur bets.

i knew wearing my Peter Davison t shirt would come in handy. he was the doctor the year i was born. true story.

best toilet sign EVER.

i wish i coulda brought milo to meet K9 :(

i think the only thing i didn't enjoy about the "experience" was the obese sweaty dude who took a million photos of everything, and was whistling out of his nose at an obscene decibalic rate that could rival a tornado.

as u can see, most of the exhibit (except for the old Daleks and the old Tardis') were from the newest Doctor's escapades. i'm ok with that though, Matt Smith is a sharp dresser, and even with sunken eyes he can totally pull off that bow tie. no mean feat if i may say so myself.

they had this weird "walk like a monster" seminar video, and as u can see, the mirrors used in that room were.... ghetto to say the least. did make for a good photo op though!

this was taken in front of a green screen. i make a pretty convincing weeping angel. loving how the guy behind the photo booth got all photoshop happy and even made me black n white over there. bless.

and how rad is my new mug WITH lid! gotta love a mug with a lid.

so today at work i got a pretty awesome surprise in the post. only a manfriend.

Yeah, Hana sent me this man friend in the mail. he'll do for now, not so keen on the ginger, nor the beard, but apparently he's an excellent scrabble player, so that's something.

stuff nightmares are made of

2011-10-31T14:53:00.001Z

so, first and foremost, happy halloween people.

secondly, and way more awesome, miss Hana came down from Glasgow on the hillbilly bus to spend Saturday night with yours truly. Perfect timing, seeing as my other favourite person had swanned off to Norway. *sob*

So we got dressed up at the studio as soon as she arrived, well.... we drank a bottle of wine, then got dressed up. well, i drank most of the bottle of wine, she got dressed up, and i spent a minute adding some accessories to my clothing to miraculously turn me into a pilot. (tucking in trousers to socks seems to be a great aid). we actually timed my transformation. took me less than a minute. skill. funny thing is, when Simon met us in the pub, he was like "wow, you've really gone all out" and i said... "umm, i own everything i'm wearing except the jacket. this is my regular wardrobe." then he said something terrible. he said "what?! even those shoes?!" (they are my favourite shoes. i almost cried a little)

so here we are....

hana's gown had some sort of odd titty-access lack of stitching deal. we're not sure. either it was designed by a very impatient man, or it's for breastfeeding. we'll never know, it's one of life's greatest mysteries. she sewed it up on the way down, otherwise she would have flashed the world, what with all the spinning she was doing that night.

twas a good night. we both got very merry, and whilst she and her 2 friends who were down too danced the night away, i got bought drinks by a man who was very.... odd. he had a cool hat though. it is hard to have a half decent conversation with someone when every other sentence they blurt out "kiss me"....

(thanks for the constant check up's and rescue offering services u provided hana)

Eddy Gomez quickly became our hero. although the guy behind hana to the left, he's rivalling that title. i don't have his contact details though, so no way of letting him know he's even in the running. so eddy it is. shame on you eddy, for not joining us for a sunday roast. shame on you.

so Hana's friends vanished at some point after taking group photos of us sprawled out on the floor, me stealing some guys massive bone that was hanging out of his flies, and us finding a pumpkin i was convinced looked like a monkey....

we also spent a good 10 mins trying to wait for a good shot of this complete strangers silhouette.... well, i spent a good 10 mins. Hana was patient and kind enough to act interested. hahaha

was so worth it though, coz out on the terrace me n Hana became mesmerised with the winch / pulley system operating across the courtyard. fascinating stuff really. guess u had to be there.

i'll finish off that nights photos with a pic of me n Hana taken in the bathroom mirror at the venue.

she was smiling. shame u can see her though.

So, next morning.... we decided to dress milo up in the witches costume my mate eric bought for me. on the package, it said it 'fitted most dogs, and cats too'. we joked around that it probably had some magic adaptability to actually fit most mammals in general. we were right.

i think we must have spent far too much time on the floor laughing our asses off, because next thing i knew, we were running late for our roast. doom. meant we couldn't pick up a banana man smoothie on the way to the tube. i almost cried. in fact.... the amount of time i stood deciding whether i had enough time to cross the road and get the damn smoothie, i probably had ample time.

oh, and some got taken up by milo meeting this little cutie.... (no, she's not wearing a tutu as Simon thought)

i also wasted a little time following this old lady down the road, waiting for traffic to clear so i could get a good photo....

the roast made up for the lack of smoothie. it was awesome, and even though eddy gomez didn't make it, our good buddy Simon did.

after the roast, we retreated to the rooftop shack we all now want to live in. it rocked, and with simon's iPod playing Supersuckers at a very high volume, all seemed right in the world. in that room. cut off from everything except the puddle of vomit in the corner that i'm guessing was left from the night before.

that family portrait took about 5 goes coz we couldn't stop pissing ourselves enough to keep a straight face.

even my shoes, socks and trousers looked so damn good against the couch.

so as time ticked away in our little solitude den and after me giving a brief lecture on Ganesh and trademarked food products.... we eventually had to leave, coz i had seen a fox in my favourite taxidermy emporium recently, and i couldn't get his little face out of my head.

when we arrived, we rushed upstairs, and the spot where he stood so proudly..... was empty! HE WAS GONE! to a home that wouldn't love him nearly as much as I. i was devastated, my head bowed, we stood in silence. I could feel Hana's pain for me. I raised my head, in the understanding that not much has gone right for me recently, and as my gaze drifted... there he was, across the room. smiling.

So Rooster the fox came home with me. but first, Simon insisted we stop off at the Mixer, and as I had already mentioned the amazing fox with the amazing grin the the guys behind the bar, it took all of 5 seconds for them to find gaffe tape and bags for me to re-wrap him in. they were keen.

once home, i couldn't resist this shot....

so me hana n simon vegged out, ordered pizza and were unsuccessful paying with scottish notes. we ended up watching this which was anything but scary, or good, and was about fairy folk. what the fuck.

then we watched this which was so dire it was fucking AMAZING! so quotable too.

here's a few:

-you look like you've been molested by wolves

-about as fun as a bag full of dicks

Misty: Are you sure the number is 911?
Jenna: What else would it be, dumbass?
Misty: Well how should I know if it's the cell, maybe you have to type in a different area code.

so, Hana left, but she'll be back they always come back.....

(sorry thats a quote from the shit film with the fairy folk. couldn't resist)

Julia 101

2011-10-26T14:08:00.002+01:00

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
Quentin Crisp

so, better post some new work, seeing as it's been a fair while....

first up some... i suppose you'd call them 'inspirational quotes?!' (i'm not inspired or even sure i believe them, but there you go.) that's just me.

i don't believe everything happens for a reason at all. Maybe that's because i'm lacking in a belief of a Higher Power of sorts, or maybe it's because i'm lacking in a belief that happy endings occur, or maybe it's because i'm lacking in a belief that life is not an inconsequential coincidence dragged out over a matter of seemingly endless decades where we try to find meaning for stuff that in the end, just doesn't really matter. we are but blips... in time... in space... and utterly reasonless.

what will be will be. well, yes, but i am not a fan of the essence of this saying. what will be ... is what u make it. we have minds, choices, decisions we have been blessed with a brain. if i decide to go sit in a field all week wearing nothing but a top hat.... next week will be pretty damn different to if i decided to carry on going home, going to work, and being fully clothed. so what will be is just where we end up, which is basically dead, in the end.

now on a much brighter note.... the lovely Traycee came down from Ireland last week and got this super fun 1 shot. she sat like a rock, and was a trooper. She has @ beautiful sleeves by the late Jason Saga, and amazing work on her legs too, so i was a little nervous.... but i'm glad with how this turned out. woop woop.

can't wait to do more work on her, maybe the other side, but we are also in talks about some serial killer themed thigh work, which I AM AMPED ABOUT DOING!!!!! :D

cant wait.

this weekend the lovely Miss Hana will be gracing my company, so if i were y'all, i'd expect my next post to be.... less work more play makes Julia's blog an interesting read to say the least.

sorry if this post seems a lil' bipolar. i'm a Capricorn....therefore i am capricious.

The past is short. The future is long

2011-10-13T17:27:00.001+01:00

So, first up, a quick 1-shot i just did on a super easy going customer. he had some really beautiful work on his arms, and that always makes me a little nervous. it's much easier to do nice tattoos on people covered in crap i find! haha

anyways, he wanted an anchor, water, and a scroll with "bring her home" inside. and he wanted it traditional. hmmm. i'm not exactly a traditional sorta girl. or tattooer for that matter. i wasn't sure how to go about the linework. i'm just fond of single pass lines, and when i saw him flicking through my portfolio intently before his appointment, i kinda gave a sign of relief, coz he musta known what he was in for.... and this would still be more "traditional than anything in there.

still, when the time came for him to check it out in the mirror, i did get a bit nervous. well, til he turned around and said "it's awesome!"

*phew*

as nice as it is to do a sweet romantic tattoo on a really nice customer, i couldn't help but think about how crap a lot of stuff has been recently for me and some of my closest friends. next year. next year had better be better!

in other news, i went to go see 3 friends do an acoustic night on tuesday @ The Mucky Pup after my penultimate (yeah! you read that right! woop woop) session on my backpiece. sore, and bloody, and tired, but it was a good night. some of y'all who know me from the land of Kong, or read my blog like a book will remember tim from this post... and the few posts preceding it.

here's an official video (i didnt even realise he'd made an official video.... it's all very official i tell ya.) of his....

also great to see Greg again. haven't seen him play for about 2 years, and nice to catch Oliver John Ward's set. (title credit to him for this post)

Last night i went to go see Nadja, Plurals, and some dude who i have no idea what his parents Christened him, what may be on his birth certificate, or what he goes by.... (he was my favourite set of the eve) typical.

and just spotted THIS last night! gonna get me some golden tickets for that one i tell ya! so excited!

the oracle, queen laqueefa, and charlotsalovin'

2011-10-03T17:47:00.000+01:00

holy macaroni faces on paper plates. what a weekend.
the lovely miss hana came back down from glasgow. for one night only, like a rockstar. she brought along charlotte who i'd heard a lot about but never met. i now know she's real. true story. (i was starting to wonder.....) haha

but 1st up.... look at my amazing friday night purchase....

yes. i bought david hasslehoff's head and paid to have it surgically attached.

so anyways, back to hana n charlotte. they rolled into the shop sat night, with a bag full of beer that was warmer than was scientifically possible, and a bottle of pink champagne that had somehow turned into mulled wine (it's been hot these past few days, and they got the bus all the way down the country....).

mulled wine is now a nemesis of mine. it tried to blow my head off. luckily i have ninja skills , and it flew outta the door. crazy though. i swear my life flashed before my eyes.

hana and i exchanged gifts....

she got me this.... which is quite possibly the coolest thing ever.

so we went to this rockabilly gig in some weird crypt thing....

it was quite a mission to get there. the tubes were all outta whack.... which in turn made us all outta whack.... but we made it in the end. hana did the twist on stage.... good on her. the spastic awesome guy won tho. he deserved it.

in the disabled toilet, we found a lever.... we dont know what it did. i mighta inadvertently started WW3....

we also kidnapped a baby.... we named her "susie seizure". her head fell off.

charlotte tried her best to reattach her head...

to no avail....

it took us forever to get back to my flat, and some dude shat his pants on the bus and then proceeded to vomit everywhere. it was quite a spectacle.

once we got back to my flat, we attempted to lay my sofa bed flat (i've never had the need before. i seem to be a 1 house guest at a time kinda gal.... til now.) it went terribly, charlotte headbutted hana's shoulder and gave herself a black eye.... and broke her kickass specs (i'm sorry, i'm laughing outloud as i type this......) so they spooned.

the next day we went on a wonder with milo, and i discovered this massive recreation park like RIGHT NEXT TO MY FLAT!

madness i tell ya!

there's a bowls lawn, a cafe, a playground, and a pond that seems to be filled with mushy peas ?!

it was right about this point when charlotte went "awwwwww look, there's a squirrel!"..... "OH WAIT?! IT'S a RAT!" bahahaha. genius.

so then we went to the smoothie/shake emporium down the road from my house....

the man behind the counter was a little.... well a lot fascinated by us.

man: "are you girls in a band?"

us :'no'

man:"why not?!"

hana:'because we have no talent.'

man *disappointed*: "ohhh"

haha. genius. that place is so full of win it's unreal.

so then onwards to kentish town where we got the roast we'd been so looking forward to. it was kinda disappointing. oh well, at least i witnessed charlotte put away the largest portion known to man. gold star.

then on to the taxidermy haven...

that has to be the most confused badger ever.

they have a new fox that i totally fell in love with too. so awesome. oh, and they had a fox with "titties' as the man in the shop kept repeating in a .... i think it was a french accent....

that guy's rad, and he has candy. he always wants to stuff my dog whenever i go in there with him though, which i find a little disturbing. this isn't from yesterday, this is from hanas last visit where she bought the cup he was drinking out of (true story)

so then *sob* it was time for the lovely ladies to trot back off to the hillbilly bus all the way back up to glasgow. on the way we did a little tongue examining....

amazing.

but not as amazing as this guys shoes.....

the end.

anchors away

2011-09-29T14:55:00.000+01:00

so, finally finished off miss Sinead's feet the other day. it's been months, what with work, and gigs, and lack of time and all. glad they're finally done. obviously right foot (our right) is healed. will get a healed pic of both at some point.

also did a cute cobweb on her elbow, but didn't get a pic.... so that may have to wait a while.

Also went to the London convention over the weekend. didn't take a single photo.... not like me. anyways, it was good. went to a Chris Conn seminar where i realised my hearing is way worse than i had recently thought. oh well.

also bought a sweet Woody Guthrie print from Preston Chambers who i had not discovered til then. I'll be sure to check his stuff out from now on. heres a link to his WORK

So same night as the convention, i had to rush over to Camden to go see Tim Barry play. God, I've been a HUGE Avail fan for as long as i can remember so when i found out he was doing an acoustic set... i got a lil' excited. Tim Barry rocks my socks.

He had some great support too. here's a video of josh small, tim, and any .... cant remember his name and cant hear clear enough on the video....it was an awesome gig. truly awesome. one of the best. ever.

also went to see the Pine Hill Haints the other night, no photos again. i'm getting non chalant with capturing my life.... which worries me a lil'.....

oh, i also went to the Wellcome museum for the first time on Tuesday. it was pretty damn rad. Bought some AMAZING books there too! did you know, he with the most books when he dies wins? it's true. i think i'm up there with a good chance.

here's some cool stuff from the museum.... (my Dad too some way better photos coz his camera phone is far superior to mine, but his getting images to other people skills are far in superior it seems)

they had a crazy ass torture chair from china made out of blades. my dad got a good pic, i'll nag him and post it at a later date.

hand me down

2011-09-15T15:52:00.000+01:00

so, 1st up is Terry's hand i did the other day. Terry is a fellow tattooer, so it was an honour to be given such an awesome chunk of flesh. :)

super fun piece, and he sat like a rock.

in other news, i recently went to visit an old graveyard up in Hampstead. I dont tend to just go hang around graveyards, but i was meeting a friend, and early, so yeah, why not.

got some nice photos, the graves there are so eclectic, gotta love it.

2nd name down. check it :)

i think this higgldypiggldy one is my favourite!

also spotted this atrociously punned gym....

in other news, i actually went to a gym up near my place the other day. i'm not gonna lie, i got lost trying to find it, but found a new park to take milo to (trust me, when u got a dog and you discover a new park, i think it's on par with how Columbus musta felt), and found a few other cool things....

this place was humungous. the photo doesn't do it justice. "who lives in a house like this?"

took one wrong turning.... and suddenly i was on a street that i'm 99% certain got airlifted from a cute village somewhere far outta london. this pub got me excited. now i just gotta find someone to take there...

and how kick ass is this place? pretty damn kickass i say.

ely tattooed a chocolatier yesterday, and she came bearing gifts. kick ass moustache lollies.

and i found a comic book about buddha yesterday. random. awesome. yes.

til next time....

stay weird and wonderful,

coz that's what u are.

weird and wonderful...

like a chicken in a bra.

true story.

alright already! stop yelling!

2011-09-10T17:50:00.000+01:00

wow, i've had a lot of people complaining i'm not blogging enough. sorry. i'll try and get back into the swing of things.

broke my phone last week which didnt contribute well to the idiology of blogging, seeing as i pretty much take all my photos on it.

anyways, it's fixed. more so than my will to blog, but i'm working on it.

so 1st up, added some colour to the sketch i posted last....

still gotta add a background and reline everything, which is my least favourite part, but it needs to be done, especially when using prismacolours.

so in other news, i did a tattoo trade with my buddy Tor.

He tattooed a witch on my thigh last week, and i did this on him on wednesday....

he was only meant to be getting the shark, but he saw the "fuck" taped to the side of my cabinet at work and was all "ooh, thats cool"

me:'thanks'

him "have u tattooed that on anyone?"

me:'nah, just drew it when i was in a foul mood'

him"do it on me!"

me:'ok.'

so it goes.....

in other tattoo related news, i finished a pretty epic coverup today of a mean ass scared tribal armband.

i have no idea where the before photo is, but here's the finished product...

pretty pleased with that. yup.

in other news, i bought a kickass yam last night.

i think u kinda had to be there, but it was hilarious.... it went like this...

kerry (holding yam) "what is this?! is this a massive ginger?!" (god, i already told her it wasn't ginger....)

shop dude: 'it's a yam'

me (stood on the other side of the shop) *exclaiming*:"YAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!"

shop dude (to kerry):'wow, she really likes yam!?'

then i bought a sharpie.

then i drew on the kickass yam and took him out about town with kerry. we took lots of photos of him, but kerry took most, and hasn't posted them, so all u get are the dregs from my camera after hers ran outta juice.

the yam was great company, as was kerry. yam attracted a lot of attention, we made friends because of the yam. even the police cheered the yam. the yam is the man. true story.

oh, and this guy was on the tube last night.... not the man.

if kerry uploads the yam's adventures, i'll be sure to blog the rest. he went to prison, went on holiday, went busking, met a homeless guy selling lighters.... got drunk, .... god, the yam had a good night.

time moves at inconsistent speeds in my life.

2011-09-02T16:21:00.000+01:00

so today has been a slow day, and ironically, this is what i started drawing.

as per usual, all my pencils/paint and general colour stuff is at home, so had to stop after the linework.

in other news, just read about this..... which looks awesome. gutted i gotta work thurs... but anyone in london lucky enough to have thurs 8th sept off, i'd recommend u go check it out and maybe buy something fucking amazing......

CLICK HERE!

in other news, mike uploaded the video of me dancing the chronological dances i had the displeasure of witnessing at the Peacocks gig the other night. here's a link....

i'm not sure how public his video's are on facebook, so if u r not his friend, and cant watch it, dont get too upset. dont say i didnt try.

honey! i'm home!

2011-08-31T18:39:00.002+01:00

so..... what an awesome weekend i just had. miss hana came down from glasgow to enjoy the benefits of the life of julia. so, where do i start? wow..... it was so epic, i'm not sure i can even begin to put it into words. i'll try. here goes......

first up, she made me an awesome card on the hillbilly bus down (she managed this whilst getting teeth spat onto her lap by a drug riddled rasta) if that aint multi tasking, i dunno what is....

anyone not sure what this is in reference to.... please click HERE!

she also got me STATIONARY! (anyone who vaguely knows me knows i would have an affair with stationary if paper cuts weren't so prevalent and unavoidable)

here's the lovely gift giver herself....

so we started off by mosying down to the Oxford where they do really really really good brie. (it's really good)

we took a scenic stroll up to Tufnell Park, being careful crossing the roads, what with all the slow trees around.

then we rolled up to the Boston where the Peacocks were playing to show off some feathers. We were greeted by some atrocious dancing. If my mate mike ever posts the video he took of me re-enacting said dance moves in chronological order, i will most definitely share.

i dont think hana had quite comprehended what a machine my liver is, and struggled to keep up..... bless.

on the way home after the gig, there was a dead guy on our train. i really really do think he was dead.

(my hand says "i think he's dead").

i tell the truth.

oh, then in the shop near my gaff, some freak came and tried to impress us. it went a little something like this:

weird man "i'm booked in to get my face tattooed"

me n hana "uh huh *weird glance*

weird man: "yeah, i'm booked in with a shop in camden tomorrow"

me(in the most sarcastic possible tone EVER) "amaaaaazing"

weird man (missing the sarcasm in my bitter voice) "it IS amazing?! right?!"

me "not if u ever wanna get a job....."

weird man (raised voice, unimpressed with how unimpressed i am) "I GOT MONEY! I DON'T NEED A JOB!" *storms out of shop*

what a tool.

oh and to top off a weird and wonderful (like a chicken in a bra) night.... we came to my front door to find this poor guy.... (hana, keep telling ur self he's fine... he was just having a moment... he's probably tucked up in bed drinking tea) speaking of tea, i took me all of 1 attempt to perfect tea for hana. i spent 5 years of my life trying to do the same for someone else. pffff.

so the next day, i had to work, but hana was booked in mid afternoon so she wandered around camden buying butter dishes and admiring cuddling cats. then i did her perfect man.

ok that sounds like i just fucked her boyfriend.

i didnt......

woop woop. super awesome fun piece to do. i think it's a lucky facial hair charm.... coz in the days after we saw this guy.....

and this guy!

so after her tattoo, we went to Bo Dean's for some much needed sustenance. after getting a little lost/giving her a very insightful view of soho..... we made it.

if u havent noticed, we have to pull "this is amazing" faces with each amazing meal. which in turn, was EVERY SINGLE MEAL FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT! oh, that wasn't meant to be in caps, just, i'm so fat from all the food my belly hit the button.

so then we had a birthday thing to go to.... we found a shop on the way that sells lucky charms and pop tarts. we had quite the dilema deciding what flavour of everything to buy. it was like sophie's choice.

anyways, the birthday didn't happen, so we ended up getting a bus with the smelliest man i've ever encountered. (i think this is true, but i've had a few colds/blocked noses in my time, so i may be wrong...... don't sue me)

he proceeded to hang from the hand bars like a creepy pervy monkey whilst going "MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm' at us. god, if u'd seen his face u woulda thought he woulda taken us down an alley and we'd come back limping. it was really creeeeeepy. we actually got off the bus after putting up with it for 15mins and walked.

*shudder*

oh god, on the bus, we overheard the best conversation ever.....

so i'll put it into context, a bunch of chavs and a midget in heels are discussing chat up lines for a guy to try and pull the chick he's after.

guy goes:" i think i'm gonna say....'i'm like a landmine. when i see you, i go BOOM!'....... *thinks* or is grenade better?"

BHAHAHAHAHA(mas) *inside joke*

anyways, i think i photographed 1 too many old men that day, and my phone ran outta batteries... which is why there is no video/photographic evidence of what happened that night.... but i've already stated "i tell the truth" so u should trust me.

we were walking up my street when all of a sudden, we saw a man walking along on stilts. (olympic games standard..... to clarify..... not 2 shitty sticks)

we're all like "wow ... weird..... i wonder if he can run in them"

then we start shouting 'run forest! run!'

then, as an answer to our queries like an angel sent from heaven.... a bunch of chavs start chasing him up the street, throwing bits of kebab at him.

the answer to our question is "yes"

he could run.

so, the next morning we were both up and rearing to go because we knew full well what kinda breakfast we had instore.

it's not for any breakfast i'd post a 'post-shower pre-face' photo....

y'all should feel blessed

so then i took hana some of my favourite thrift stores n stuff.

i found a lot of awesome stuff....

"a popular history of whichcraft" circa 1937

adorable acorn soup bowls...

(that kick ass monkey lighter is from the same shop) a friend bought it for me last wednesday.

these awesome glass jars were only 1 pound each! same goes for the shot glasses. crazy i tell ya, utter madness.

then we went to camden,

had the most epic roast ever, with a barman serving us who almost put the bassist from the peacocks nose to shame, and u dont know what i'm talking about, but it MEANS something!

*hot flush*

the people on the table next to us took quite the shining (not like the movie, they didnt kill) to milo.

i talked about aztecs, accordions, harmonicas, chihuahuas, tattoos and other good stuff with them.

so onto camden, where we went shopping for more awesome shit. i visited my favourite taxidermy shop. its always a bad idea, coz i always wanna buy everything. luckily my flat is small but perfectly formed... a little like my ......... (hana u finish that sentence) so i wasn't tempted to attempt fitting the bear into my living quarters. i didnt buy anything, but had my eye on a little dude.... more on him later.

we did buy socks. awesome socks. i bought 2 pairs, hana bought 2 pairs, we swapped 2 each.... this sounds like a maths question.

blow job china men socks. i dont have 4 feet. hana spooned me. al overdrive took a photo of our socks and within the space of about 2 mins, he'd had like 68 ppl check our socks. i posted a photo on facebook and got.... i dunno.... 4 "likes". al must have a lot of groupies.

amazing.... right?!

oh, i also found my perfect man in camden. he aint going nowhere.....

so after the sock purchasing, statue posing.... as if by magic, we saw a DOUBLE RAINBOW!!!!

me n hana tried making our own epic double rainbow video.... we didnt do too well.

but as proof, here's a photo...

double rainbow.... all the way..... so intense.....

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

too fucking funny.

next day,

we woke up, had another awesome breakfast, made a double rainbow video in my lucky charms cereal bowl, and played girly monopoly.....

she wooped my skateboard arse.

took hana to the diner, coz she was a corn dog virgin. looking at the photo, i'm not sure i believe her.... although i can think of other reasons this looks so goddam natural....

corn. corn on the cob you perverts. jesus, she's a hillbilly.

we also had some "hard shakes" they rocked. i like alcohol. i like ice cream. i like alcohol and ice cream very much.

then i went back to the taxidermy shop and bought monty. i couldn't not. he's awesome.

got this too.... an old doctors bag

and these..... in a second hand store. they feel worn in but they look brand new.

on the train home, we heard the driver make this announcement

"this is your driver speaking. to the person who keeps swinging your baby out of the train doors......... you're an idiot."

what an awesome driver.

dickhead dad waited til the end of the line to go have a go at him.

anyways, thats pretty much it....

oh, and i bought hana these awesome allsorts. (the tin is awesome....... so awesome)

ok lastly (and i've left these til last coz i'm sure y'all aren't interested, but i know hanas gonna want these.....

~(we realised the mirror in the monopoly box makes u look spastic)