balls

so, Monday's shenanigans.....

long story short, my mate DJ's every other Monday or so, and coz we is classy punks, innit..... we have cheese, crackers and other good stuff. this time he decided to bring some mental spicy chilli picked onions the size of golf balls. as the night went on, we decided it'd be a great idea to do chilli vinegar shot (of course....) and before long, the last 2 onions had officially (i say officially, i didnt get a certificate or anything) been labelled as "my balls".

so........ after his DJ set, we mosied on down to another pub, where i suddenly decided i wanted to photograph everyone EVERYONE holding my balls. so i went about asking complete strangers to hold my balls.

i'm not sure why it was suddenly so important.... but it was. the majority of people were awesome.

it kinda went like this
"hello, can u hold my balls so i can take a photo...."
"what?!"
"oh, well, they're not really my balls, they're pickled onions....."
"what?!"
"please hold my balls! i'm taking photos of everyone holding my balls"
"ok"

and there u have it...... behold..... (i hope most of y'all did in fact manage to find my blog, coz there's no way i can e mail out ur photos, i am most definitely not organised enough to remember who was who, and which e mail corresponds with which photo etc etc.)

pieman is obviously not a stranger....

nor is gary.... but i had to bet the "ball rolling" hahahaa..... balls

these guys kept coming asking to get more photos taken. they loved my balls.

these girls weren't keen on actually touching the glass that held my balls, but i think this qualifies....

she was way keener. good girl.

this guy rocked, he nibbled my balls.

these guys were pretty hesitant to begin with, but we got there in the end.

i'm pretty sure the couple above and the couple below thought i was clinically insane.

if i recall correctly these 2 took a lil' persuading too, but what a good pic.

this girl was more than happy to hold my balls, as long as her face didn't get involved (hence my hand)

this guy's called blue. he's holding my balls. blue balls. genius

zombie clint eastwood was having none of it, i think he was the only person who said "no" in that pub (yes..... i then went to another pub once i had exhausted possibilities for new people to hold my balls, but we'll come to that in a min.....)

bruce rocked up and was more than happy to hold my balls. good lad.

this is me leaving the mixer, pieman suddenly realised i hadn't yet hold my balls......

and managed to get the barman on the move.

these girls were sat on the sidewalk between pub A and pub B. they held my balls quite happily (i think the fact that a crackhead was about to accost them helped.) i think i did them a favour, as they did me.

these young chaps (and girl who wanted to be in the photo, but didnt want her face shown?!) were outside KFC. guy in hat had crutches. get well soon.

these girls were on the way to some club. they definitely think i'm mental.... probably coz i came running across the street waving my balls round shouting "i'm not mental....... but......"

still, my powers of persuasion by this point were quite the sight to behold if i may say so myself.....

well, either that or they just wanted the mentalist to leave them alone. i think judging my their not so terrified faces the 1st option is very feesable.

this guy was outside the next port of call, and i honestly cant tell if that's terror or utter joy on his face.

this guy requested a 2nd shot. a more pensive shot, longingly looking into the eyes of my balls.

he followed suit. i think at this point my balls wept a few tears of joy.

these guys are ball animals. good stuff.

i liked this guy. the creepy guy in the background was the only person to refuse my balls in that drinking establishment. he was however quite intent on listening to every word i said that night.

i hope she find this blog. i remember her wanting the photo very much.

this guys photo was a headache to even get to read, i had to upload it 4 times. 

anyways, that's your lot. i did get accused of being in the CIA, or being involved in a "facebook conspiracy" by one very paranoid young chap. i can fervently deny these accusations, for 3 reason....

i am not in the CIA

i don't fully comprehend what a "facebook conspiracy" is....

If i was involved in either, i wouldn't be at liberty to tell you.

so, weird paranoid gent, i hope that put your mind to rest. although from what i remember of you, i think the only thing that could possibly put YOUR mind at rest would be euthanasia. 

A HUGE THANKS TO ALL THE RANDOM PEOPLE WHO MADE MY NIGHT AWESOME. IF YOU FOUND THIS POST, I HOPE IT AT LEAST MADE U CHUCKLE A LITTLE.

OH, AND A BIG THANKS TO MY BALLS FOR BEING SO ENTICING. FOR ANYONE WORRIED ABOUT THEM, THEY ARE HAPPILY PERCHED ON MY BOOKSHELF AT HOME. 

Le geek c'est chic

so, COMICON! hell yeah. Me and my equally geeky cohort aka Pieman (he likes pies, plain n simple) went along yesterday. It's very nice indeed and kinda life and spirit affirming having someone to go along to these things with. He did keep saying that "coming to these makes him feel a lot less of a geek" and if you were there..... you would havta kinda agree. He was however very paranoid that people were thinking he'd dressed up as Wolverine...... which cracked me up, coz i could totally see that happening.

Guess now i'd better show u why..... (only took this photo coz Jabba the hut was in disguise behind him)

amazing.

Anyways, the reason i went along.... well i went coz it's a comicon *duh* but the main thing i was excited about (much better worded) was the fact that BRENT SPINER was gonna be there! for all of you people who are about to google ' brent spiner'.... don't. He's Data in Star Trek. 

So yes, i met him. He touched me (no, he really did.... he touched my hand tattoo) and i got him to sign my Enterprise blue prints! woop woop!

i think the yellow lighting added to the whole "Data effect". good ambience.... good ambience.

I also managed to pick myself a signed Jean Luc Picard photo! oh yeah! Patrick Stewart is a legend.

also ran into a lookalike. He was very gruff. Should kept his mouth shut..... he's definitely more Stewart Patrick than Patrick Stewart, and he tried to befriend us.  poor lonely man. oh well.

also had a very pleasant brief encounter with Robert Rankin.....cool guy. he insisted i did "donkey ears" for the photo (his words, not mine)

i also tried to get R2D2 to drink cider..... i think he blew a fuse though. RIP lil' robot. sorry bout that....

got in a fight with a storm trooper, i won.... of course.

also came to realise storm troopers are taking on people of all races now, which is a very good thing indeed.

met some weird n wonderful people.... 

and i gotta say, i'm glad i didnt have more cash on me, coz there was way too much awesome stuff for sale for any normal hoarder to refuse purchasing..... behold

amazing. 

they even had a signed adrian brody pic, and if any of u know me, u know i'm slightly obsessed with Mr Brody.... but i wanted to get a few friends stuff too, so put that obsession to one side *sniff*. 

there's always next year.

even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men

yes, death cab lyrics for the title. why? u ask..... only because i'm seeing them play tonight and am totally AMPED!

it also ties in nicely with this tattoo i just did on the lovely Sharron from Northern Soul Tattoo.

was fun to do. she sat like a rock, and we managed to squeeze something that was originally booked in for a day rate into a measly 4 hrs. not too shabby! 

anyways, back to death cab, feel like sharing in case any of you poor deprived people haven't heard them..... here's some of my favourite songs.... enjoy.

who am i kidding, all their songs are awesome. i'll stop.

at least i now know where i stand..... and that i stand alone.

so, what a weekend. decided last minute to go to the Hop Farm festival coz the line-up was retardedly awesome. wait for it........ ok you ready?! 


MORRISSEY
IGGY & THE STOOGES
LOU REED
PATTI SMITH


seriously?! couldn't have asked for a better line up. some of you may know i'm quite partial to a man named steven..... Steven MORRISSEY *drool*

i took way more photos than what i'm posting right now, but they are on my phone which is being used as a music maker in the studio as i speak. well as i type.

so without further ado.... (apologies to Mr Reed for not getting any decent photos of you)

Gotta admit, standing there watching Morrissey on my own (well i suppose the other few hundred people there kinda counted, but when i say "on my own" i mean with nobody i know) kinda made me have this horrible epiphany about how alone i trully am. luckily, my company is pretty alright, and i received a really sweet voice mail from one of my best friends which almost cheered me up. Still, when he started playing "the is a light that never goes out" i couldn't find it within myself to summon enough strength to hold back the tears. (i've had one of the worst weeks to date, but only 2 people know ... well 3 people know what i'm talking about and i'm not gonna elaborate.)

anyways, when all was over, i had to try to figure out how to get all the way back to London (i'm not much of a forward thinker, clearly not when it actually matters that is....)

this kinda made it difficult....

anyways, after stumbling round a few fields, i found some coaches heading back to London, didnt have the right money for a ticket, and the guy selling them was kinda sweet, and kinda horrible, but it all worked out. he said "well, seeing as your own your own and everybody else has friends, i'll do it for a tenner" charming. rub it in, why dont ya?

in other news, this really cheered me up. this is some of an e mail i received the other day outta the blue (that's pretty much all it said but i figured not everyone and their mother needed to know this guys name or where he lives......


Hey Julia, so I jumped on the face book to check on something and got lost in a trail of friends of friends and somehow ended up on your tattoo blog, oh and we don't know each other, and I figured what the fuck and took a minute to tell you I liked your blog narrative, I don't really care about tattoos but you seem like a fun person. Take care and cheers too I guess you say....


I'll be sure to post the other pics soon. promise. Oh in other other news.... i now have 2 accomplices, minions, general awesome people who are also now taking photos of old men.... so soon i'll have enough to start posting. (the quest regarding photographing these old men has now also evolved, it now encompasses ALL old men, not just the ones who use public transport) exciting....