day of rest

well, i rested everything but my dog and my liver.

so yesterday i FINALLY went to the beautiful duke of wellington where my buddy, phil smith is head chef. woop woop.

it was a fucking beautiful day, and people were... dressed.... summery. no excusing this though.

wow.

anyways, so, the pub, the food, and the scenery.... back to non arse hanging out news.....

beautiful, right?!

so we sat down, and i looked at the menu my buddy meticulously prepared, and didn't see anything i'd eat. (i'm that annoying dick who's real fussy)

so i asked the waitress if i could have everything like the roast beef, but with the chicken breast from the warm salad. 

i hear it went like this

waitress "can somebody have chicken with the roast?"

phil "NO!!!! tell them to fuck off"

waitress "it's your friend"

phil "ok"

gotta love it.

pieman gave me 1/2 his yorkshire coz he knows they r like crack to me.

then, the crack fairy came along and left this on the table next to me....

amazing. just like the pimms.

interesting choice of glass though. last i checked, those weren't the correct ingredients.... but hey, i seem to b wrong bout most things nowadays....

so after eating, we sat for hours and drank while waiting for phil to go on his break. we met a cool couple who live out of london during the week, and in london on the weekends. the lady next to me was called rachel. they have a dog called alice. i think the guy was called philip. he liked the tall waitress. rachel wasn't impressed by his behaviour. he liked cricket, and she fed clams to my dog. 

it was rad.

so anyways, on the break we wandered to another pub, where i discovered the true purpose for my "fight the power" penknife with fork....

dont leave home without one..... if it's windy and u smoke roll up's anyways.

across the road was a kickass fishing shop....

i think this was the 1st kinda fish i ever caught as a kid, and remember freaking out when i saw what was on the end of my line. true story.

there was also a super cute estate agent..... behold....

and this was on the way to the toilet in the pub. (this was weird, coz i was planning on taking a friend to a taxidermy shop, but never got round to it, but my facebook status was still "roast/chihuahua/taxidermy" and thats exactly how it went down. synchronicity and all that mumbo jumbo as someone once said.

so it wasn't a tough choice whether to stay round the area after phil went back to work. especially seeing as anyone over the age of 22 knew each other and had to scream "DAHHHHHLING" at everyone whilst crossing the road and holding up traffic. there was also a very irritating girl sat behind me who seemed to feel the need she "loved my dog's spirit" over and over. last i checked, my dog was alive, and she didn't look like a medium.

anyways, i had more to post, but just heard news bout something and gotta shoot.

bang.

roses r red.... violets r blue...

i love you and hate you too.

so today i had a really nice piece booked in. she came in a while back.... well, it seems like it's been ages actually.... and just wanted 3 roses on her hip. nice n non fussy. just the way i like them!

ties in with this which i drew last week-ish and forgot to post....

in other non work related news, i went to see Lars' new Oi! band play last night....

Booze n Glory were supporting, and i highly recommend u check 'em out....

nothing says "i'm punk rock" like matching shoes as far as i'm concerned....

ended up telling this guy his jacket looked like Hellraisers condom. he wasn't impressed....... at all.

so after the gig, i donned a monkey suit and carried on drinking.

i also got to pose with a Banjo. pretty rad.

blah blah blah

so finished off the please please please morrissey tattoo today. if u dont remember... here's the 1st session CLICK! amazing how it's even more fitting now than when i posted the 1st session. it's ok though, i've come to realise wishful thinking is just a retarded default setting for people who haven't lived enough.

short n sweet.

adieu

til the cows come home.

so, 1st up, here's a sketch i did today....

i would very much like to tattoo this, so anyone who knows their serial killers, and is keen.... get in touch! :)

in other news, went to go see Strung Out at the Underworld. I don't think i've ever actually seen them before, but growing up with a lot of  Fat Wreck bands, they were always around, so was good to go.

The bassist ... wow. 

(long story)

anyways, i didn't have a camera, so phone pic it is....

here's a video from when they were much better than last night!

so before the gig, Will popped in for a quick bit o' filler. I've had a LOT of free time at work of late, so it was good to do something fun.

'fuck your positivity'.... in case u were wondering, although i can think or a few other things positivity could replace and still be very fitting.

will's missus swung by bearing gifts.... these.... which are AMAZINGLY AWESOME

it's coz of my old man photography thing.... if u were wondering.

she also brought a pink cowsuit onsie for me. as soon as i found out these were cheap and very readily available, i asked her to grab me one. i was planning on going to the zoo with a mate for a photo op, but instead decided to wear it to the pub.... and the gig.... and all the way home.

and here ends my incessant irritating publication of my life. 

til next time.

mondays are my fridays....

so on Monday, i had 2 cancellations at work resulting in me doing an awful lot of thumb twiddling. i can in fact categorically say I'm a thumb twiddling expert now.

anyways, lucky for me, Pieman and Hanna aka my bitch needed somewhere to drop off hana's suitcase so she didnt have to lug it round with her all day. Flamin 8 worked out like as good a place as any to leave a bag that may or may not have contained a human body. So seeing as i was thumb twiddled out for the day, we buggered off down the pub. (we in fact did a semi sort of pub crawl, which included absolutely no drinking.... went like this

pub 1: "are u serving food?"
            'no, not til 6'
           "bumhole"
pub 2:  "are u serving food?"

            'no, not til 6'

            "hmph"

pub 3:  "are u serving food?"

            'no, not til 6'

            "oh my god you serve TAYTO'S!!!!!!!!!"

so we stayed. It was the Eagle. I like the Eagle, and the barmaid always treats me like a long lost friend. So much so in fact that this time, she decided to get her phone out and start showing me some texts she'd been recieving from the last barman she sacked. it read:

"i have put a woodoo (guessing they meant voodoo) curse on you, you fat ugly bulldog"

wow, not only is he a master at woodoo, but used bulldog as a derogatory term?! i like bulldogs. what a knob.

they also have a policy during happy hour where if u roll a double (they provide the die, and a lovely little suede lined tray to roll said die onto) you get a free drink. Pieman sucks at rolling doubles.

So we sat outside with the drinks that we had paid for, seeing as Pieman sucks at rolling doubles n all, and we didn't get any free drinks, coz Pieman sucks at rolling doubles don't ya know......

and we found a lil' friend. Hana wanted to feed him salt and vinegar Tayto's.... i didn't think they were good sustenance for our new found friend.... seeing as he was a mouse n all. Dry roasted peanuts seemed to do the trick though.

I have internally named him "marshal" marshal the mouse. i probably shouldn't have named him or become so attached, coz after about 4 peanute he never came back out, and i have a funny feeling that the salt content on dry roasted peanuts isn't amazingly good for a lil' itty bitty mouse named marshal's internal organs.........god i hope he's ok.

so 6 came and went, and we ordered a veritable feast....

there was chicken satay ... but me n Hana seem to have a same level appreciation for meat on a stick, so they went before i had time to get photographic evidence....

the sesame toast had some weird stuff hidden under the sesame....conversation went :

me"what's this gooey shit?"

hana:"prawn i think, but it doesnt taste too much like prawn so it's ok"

me: "shit, i'm allergic to prawns"(i'd already eaten half of it)

hana and simon pull faces of impending doom and go "really?!"

me: "no"

hana's 'this is amazing' face is one of the best i've encountered to date....

i didn't come close to finishing my meal, and got a right bollocking from the waitress, so i did what any self respecting adult would do, and faked crying until she stopped. it worked pretty well. y'all should try it.

So after our feed, we headed to the Dev for a cheese n pickle punk night. I'm not gonna lie, i was tempted to reenact the ball saga again, but .... well.... couldn't be arsed.

i did get to try out my new penknife....

I've now been dubbed 'julia "fight the power" seizure'

i'm so ok with that.

outside the Dev, i spotted an awesome old man to photograph... and my word am i glad i took the time out to ask for his photo....

best shirt ever. but wait..... it gets better.....

much

much

much

better.......

look 

at 

what

he 

was

holding!

only a bag full of hand made "bottom spanker" inscribed spanking paddles.

so of course, i tried one out.....

look at that stance, i'm a natural...

i've come to realise i approach spanking similar to how i approach bowling.... good stance and a good smooth follow through. when all else fails, brute force comes in handy too.

i think the violence just pregressed from that point, and we ended up in a massive bar brawl. luckily it happened in slow motion so we were able to get some good photos for the cops....

anyways, hana had to catch a bus back to scotland, so we nipped back to the shop. luckily, kentish town n camden are pretty close to one another....

got a lil' spun out by a dude hanging round the shop walking around at a snails pace.... couldnt lock the door behind us quick enough. when we came out, he was still there.... sat in his car.... being all pervy. see, a man with handmade spanking paddles, not pervy... for god's sake, i took his e mail.... but a man who moves slow and sits in his own car..... no...... don't trust him.

right, customer arrives, suppose i'd better get to work! 

til next time..... go lamb slapping.

i wish morrissey was right, and everyday was like sunday

so, yesterday was a kick ass day. started off waking up, having muesli (shoulda had coco pops being a sunday n all, but running out to the shop 1st thing on a sunday would kinda defeat the whole 'day of rest' thing.....)

had no plans for the whole day, and was in 2 minds whether that was awesome or just meant i had no friends..... the weather was beautiful, and i wanted to go out for a skate, but milo was basking,

and i didn't know whether to walk him, then skate, or go skate, then walk him..... so i did both at the same time. i took him skating.

theres a university next to my gaff, so sundays it's dead, so i can let milo run about care free, no people, no traffic. it was awesome. so while skating i started getting messages from the friends i wasn't sure i really had with plans for gigs/roasts/parks and such. 

roast sounded swell, so headed into camden to meet up with pieman and some lass (who i now know as hannah/my bitch) down from the land of scots. we hit it off pretty awesomely, and i think she came this (i am currently holding my forefinger and thumb millimetres apart) close to stealing milo.

took a while for me to scout out a dog friendly pub that was still serving roasts late in the day, and we ended up in the Crown n Goose.... or Goose n Crown.... who cares. anyways, i'm not even sure if it is technically 'dog friendly' coz i walked in and went "do u guys allow dogs inside?" busy busy angry at life in general barman goes 'depends on the dog' so i hold up milo, and barman goes 'pfffffff whatever'. i took that as a "yes, we would love you to come in, bring your friends, order drinks, eat food and tip us better than we deserve coz none of you have the correct change". so thats exactly what i did.

she couldn't believe milo could eat huge chunks of beef in the space of 2 seconds.... he got a lot of leftovers. kinda went like this....

"ok i'm gonna give him some beef".....

milo gobbles

laughter

"ok ok i'm gonna give him more beef"

milo gobbles 

laughter

"didnt even touch the sides!"

"ok who's got more leftovers?"

"ok lets give him some chicken"

milo gobbles

hysterical laughter.....

and on 

and

on

afterwards, my buddy mike came down with his dog, tony... there was a bit of a ned kelly style stand off to start with... it was kinda epic. coulda heard a pin drop, let alone a massive english bull terrier barking incessantly at my chihuahua.

outside the pub, a man stopped me as i walked by and asked if he could give milo some lamb. went like this...

man:can i give your dog some lamb?

me: ok, but he's....

man dangles lamb over my dog, then proceeds to slap my dogs back with dripping rank leftover lamb

me *thinking* what the fuck is going on?!

at some point, milo got the lamb, gobbled it....

man"more lamb"

me"no, he's...."

man gets more lamb, slaps dog, feeds dog.

weird.

so "lamb slapper" is my new favourite insult.

hannah has a sock thing, where she swaps one of her socks with strangers with cool socks. she might be on board with my old man photography quest now too. good stuff.

speaking of which, look at what i found the other day! i might just set up camp outside...

yup.

and lastly, what would a sunday be without me trawling through my local thrift shops? i'll tell ya what it would be...... crap.

so here's what i bought...

i'm hoping this works, it seems to have a bit of an issue with the loading mechanism for film, but i havent tried yet... just had a poke around. i think i still have some awesome lomo film i got in hong kong, and i reckon i'd get some pretty kick ass shots on this.... *fingers crossed*

and i got this....

it will go nicely with my afro comb i think. 

but in all seriousness, how the fuck are u supposed to use those knives and forks?! am i missing something..... coz i was always under the impression you tend to use them simultaneously. who knows. maybe i'm wrong.

what's in a name?

so, here's a fun cover up i did today.... I'll post the 'after pic' first, so anyone glancing at my blog doesn't mistakenly think i did the 'before'.....

and here's what i was dealing with.....

yup. drunken mistake right there y'all. 

anyways, in other news, went to go see Kunt and the gang play at the 12 bar last night. T'was a good night. I'm sure he's quite the acquired taste, but seemed everyone there enjoyed it.