long story short, my mate DJ's every other Monday or so, and coz we is classy punks, innit..... we have cheese, crackers and other good stuff. this time he decided to bring some mental spicy chilli picked onions the size of golf balls. as the night went on, we decided it'd be a great idea to do chilli vinegar shot (of course....) and before long, the last 2 onions had officially (i say officially, i didnt get a certificate or anything) been labelled as "my balls".
so........ after his DJ set, we mosied on down to another pub, where i suddenly decided i wanted to photograph everyone EVERYONE holding my balls. so i went about asking complete strangers to hold my balls.
i'm not sure why it was suddenly so important.... but it was. the majority of people were awesome.
it kinda went like this
"hello, can u hold my balls so i can take a photo...."
"oh, well, they're not really my balls, they're pickled onions....."
"please hold my balls! i'm taking photos of everyone holding my balls"
and there u have it...... behold..... (i hope most of y'all did in fact manage to find my blog, coz there's no way i can e mail out ur photos, i am most definitely not organised enough to remember who was who, and which e mail corresponds with which photo etc etc.)
pieman is obviously not a stranger....
nor is gary.... but i had to bet the "ball rolling" hahahaa..... balls
these guys kept coming asking to get more photos taken. they loved my balls.
these girls weren't keen on actually touching the glass that held my balls, but i think this qualifies....
she was way keener. good girl.
this guy rocked, he nibbled my balls.
these guys were pretty hesitant to begin with, but we got there in the end.
i'm pretty sure the couple above and the couple below thought i was clinically insane.
if i recall correctly these 2 took a lil' persuading too, but what a good pic.
this girl was more than happy to hold my balls, as long as her face didn't get involved (hence my hand)
this guy's called blue. he's holding my balls. blue balls. genius
zombie clint eastwood was having none of it, i think he was the only person who said "no" in that pub (yes..... i then went to another pub once i had exhausted possibilities for new people to hold my balls, but we'll come to that in a min.....)
bruce rocked up and was more than happy to hold my balls. good lad.
this is me leaving the mixer, pieman suddenly realised i hadn't yet hold my balls......
and managed to get the barman on the move.
these girls were sat on the sidewalk between pub A and pub B. they held my balls quite happily (i think the fact that a crackhead was about to accost them helped.) i think i did them a favour, as they did me.
these young chaps (and girl who wanted to be in the photo, but didnt want her face shown?!) were outside KFC. guy in hat had crutches. get well soon.
these girls were on the way to some club. they definitely think i'm mental.... probably coz i came running across the street waving my balls round shouting "i'm not mental....... but......"
still, my powers of persuasion by this point were quite the sight to behold if i may say so myself.....
well, either that or they just wanted the mentalist to leave them alone. i think judging my their not so terrified faces the 1st option is very feesable.
this guy was outside the next port of call, and i honestly cant tell if that's terror or utter joy on his face.
this guy requested a 2nd shot. a more pensive shot, longingly looking into the eyes of my balls.
he followed suit. i think at this point my balls wept a few tears of joy.
these guys are ball animals. good stuff.
i liked this guy. the creepy guy in the background was the only person to refuse my balls in that drinking establishment. he was however quite intent on listening to every word i said that night.
i hope she find this blog. i remember her wanting the photo very much.
this guys photo was a headache to even get to read, i had to upload it 4 times.
anyways, that's your lot. i did get accused of being in the CIA, or being involved in a "facebook conspiracy" by one very paranoid young chap. i can fervently deny these accusations, for 3 reason....
i am not in the CIA
i don't fully comprehend what a "facebook conspiracy" is....
If i was involved in either, i wouldn't be at liberty to tell you.
so, weird paranoid gent, i hope that put your mind to rest. although from what i remember of you, i think the only thing that could possibly put YOUR mind at rest would be euthanasia.
A HUGE THANKS TO ALL THE RANDOM PEOPLE WHO MADE MY NIGHT AWESOME. IF YOU FOUND THIS POST, I HOPE IT AT LEAST MADE U CHUCKLE A LITTLE.
OH, AND A BIG THANKS TO MY BALLS FOR BEING SO ENTICING. FOR ANYONE WORRIED ABOUT THEM, THEY ARE HAPPILY PERCHED ON MY BOOKSHELF AT HOME.